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A-B-C. A-ALWAYS, B-BE, C-CLOSING

“He blew a game. It won’t be the last one. And he knows that. He might blow 50 in his career. But that means he’ll have several hundred saves.”

–Angels reliever Brendan Donnelly, on Francisco Rodriguez blowing a save against Oakland on Friday (L.A. Daily News)

“Time will tell, but I think so. He got to the big leagues early because of makeup and stuff. Last year, he put everything together. I think he’ll be fine.”

–Donnelly, on whether K-Rod is emotionally ready to be a closer

“It’s frustrating. But you have to get back out there and right the ship.”

–Cubs interim closer LaTroy Hawkins, after blowing a save on Saturday against the Pirates (Chicago Tribune)

“We have go back to the drawing board on something else, that’s what we have to do. It seems like he hasn’t been good with one-run leads. I can’t figure it out. He has the stuff. I can’t figure it out right now.”

–Cubs manager Dusty Baker, on Hawkins’ struggles protecting one-run leads

“Yeah, I relish [the closer’s role].”

–Hawkins

“Whoever throws the best is going to be the closer. And I want Shingo [Takatsu] to return to be the closer, but I need him to have confidence in himself and not lose his confidence, because I haven’t lost confidence in him.”

–White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen who, very quietly, has created a closer-by-committee bullpen

“I have nothing bad to say about Ozzie. He has put me in a very good atmosphere. It’s very easy for me to go out there and pitch. If he has to make certain moves, I can live by those rules.”

–White Sox reliever Shingo Takatsu, on manager Ozzie Guillen choosing other pitchers for the ninth inning

“It doesn’t embarrass me. I don’t think about it at all. If I could pitch the ninth inning, I would.”

–Takatsu, on how he feels about his occasional set-up work

“All I can do is stay positive and get a little fatter.”

–Takatsu

I’M LITERALLY ANGRY WITH RAGE

“He’s a piece of [bleep].”

–White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, on departed right fielder Magglio Ordonez’s revelation that Guillen’s presence made him choose Detroit (Chicago Tribune)

“He’s a [bleep], that’s what he is. He’s another Venezuelan [bleep]. [Bleep] him.”

–Guillen, who’s also Venezuelan

“He has an enemy. Now he has a big one. He knows I can [bleep] him a lot of different ways. He better shut the [bleep] up and play for the Detroit Tigers.”

–Guillen

“We never clicked, even when we played together. I don’t consider him my friend. I have nothing to say. I don’t want to see him or talk to him. He’s my enemy.”

Magglio Ordonez, on Guillen

“If he comes to me and wants to apologize, I wouldn’t accept it.”

–Ordonez

“Why do I have to apologize to him? Who the [bleep] is Magglio Ordonez? Why ever talk about me? He doesn’t do [bleep] for me. But if he thinks I’m his enemy, he has a big enemy. He knows me.”

–Guillen

“He never was my friend because I don’t know him. If I think what I say hurt him, I don’t give a [bleep]. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win games. I have a lot of friends. If Magglio doesn’t want to be my friend, I don’t have to drink with him.”

–Guillen

“A couple people asked me about it, and [I] was nice about his injury and [bleep]. I don’t give a [bleep] what he does for the rest of his life. He [bleeped] with the wrong guy.”

–Guillen

“I don’t talk about him because he hates us. I’m serious. If he hates us, I don’t want to talk about him.”

–Twins MManager Ron Gardenhire, refusing to talk about Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia, who said he hated the Twins (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

“I’ve stopped using the word ‘hate.’ It’s more like ‘jealousy,’ to see them playing in October and it should be us. They are the team to beat, and that’s the spot we want.”

–Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia, explaining/redefining his hatred

SURVIVAL: THE TWIN BROTHER OF ANNIHILATION

“He came in and he says, ‘My wife had a baby.’ I said, ‘What the heck are you doing here?’ And he says, ‘She told me to go pitch.'”

–Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, on pitcher Johan Santana, who pitched less than an hour after his wife gave birth to their second child (Pioneer Press)

“He’s made the statement that he’s ready for it. I told him, ‘No problem, and when we get home tonight–and you feel good in the morning–you can come over to my house and mow my lawn.'”

–Gardenhire, on what he said to catcher Joe Mauer after Mauer told him he’s ready to play (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

“There’s always room for people who want to do more. Keeping my wife off the tractor is great.”

–Gardenhire

“I couldn’t even leave my room. I had to turn the lights off and turn the TV off and sit in the dark for a week.”

–Twins first baseman Justin Morneau, activated from the DL last week after being hit in the head by a pitch

“I hate to discourage him, but for me, it was hard [to come back]. To hit the lefties, you have to stay in there and be ready for the pitches away. My first reaction was always to move back. I had no chance and it was from the fear, something I had never been through before.”

–former Twin and current Pirate Matt Lawton, sharing his experience coming back after being hit in the head in 1999

“A heat-seeking missile.”

–Morneau, describing the pitch that hit him in the head

DON’T WORRY STEROID. YOU’RE THE ONLY STEROID THAT STEROIDS

“Are you kidding me? If I was taking steroids, could I send them back and get the good ones, because obviously, these didn’t work. I didn’t get my money’s worth. That’s ridiculous.”

–injured Cubs shortstop Nomar Garciaparra, responding to Bob Ryan’s suspicions that his injury trouble could be blamed on steroid use (Chicago Sun-Times)

“These are the same people who said I didn’t want my [World Series] ring. We all know that wasn’t true. That came out to be a hoax. It’s probably the same people who said I faked my injury last year, so what does that tell you? Fake an injury in a contract year? That’s pretty smart. It makes me chuckle.”

–Garciaparra

“Absolutely not, without question. They’re going to say all sorts of stuff because they can’t do what we do. Anyone can say whatever they want, I guess. I’m a Cub, and that’s all I have to worry about.”

–Garciaparra

“This guy’s hurting enough. You don’t throw dirt on a guy when he’s down. That’s just not right.”

–Cubs manager Dusty Baker, on the steroid accusation

OH, I’M DONE FOR…I’M DONE-DIDDILY-DOODILY DONE FOR…

“I’m evaluating and measuring a lot of things. I’m not sitting there and saying, ‘OK, well, seven losses in a row – bad. Five wins a row – good.’ I’m trying to take a look and see what is going on here.”

–Brewers owner Mark Attanasio, on manager Ned Yost. Yost is in the last year of his contract, and has an option for 2006 (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

“Is Ned, in this period, motivating the players? He is. Is Ned trying to make adjustments on the field based on the statistics we have to make some changes? Yes he is. Is Ned Yost the same guy [during the losing streak] as he was when we were winning? Yes he is.”

–Attanasio

“Ned Yost is going to be judged on a long-term basis. He’s not going to be judged on the first 15 games you play in April. Does Ned pay attention to our minor-league system and is he one of the few managers in the major leagues who goes into the minor leagues and interacts with the players and makes sure they’re getting the right training? Yes, he does.”

-Attanasio

“The difference between us and the Cardinals isn’t that they have Albert Pujols and we don’t. It’s that they don’t make errors and we still are. They don’t make base-running mistakes, and we are at the moment. They’re a very, very disciplined team. We will get there, I believe.”

–Attanasio

“If we get thrown out a bunch of times trying to steal second, I might back off.”

–Manager Ned Yost, whose team is 5 for 12 (42%) on the basepaths

THE REST

“I was wrong about something, wrong about something important, for a long time. And since I had contributed heavily to creating the problem, I realized that I had to do what I could to address it.”

–Red Sox consultant Bill James, on his recent paper that takes back some of his strong opinions on the existence of clutch hitting (New York Times)

“We ran astray because we have been assuming that random data is proof of nothingness, when in reality random data proves nothing.”

–James

“Any kid that ever thought of doing drugs, just go out there one time and strike somebody out with second and third against the Red Sox. There’s no better feeling than that. You know, you don’t need alcohol or drugs for that kind of feeling.”

–Devil Rays reliever Trever Miller, on his strikeout of Mark Bellhorn with two on and two out in the eighth inning (St. Petersburg Times)

“When he’s at his best he can dot a gnat’s ass.”

–Toronto pitching coach Brad Arnsberg, on Blue Jay starter Dave Bush (Toronto Sun)

“If you gave him an hour to go through the stands, he’d know everybody’s name.”

–Marlins manager Jack McKeon, on talkative Reds first baseman Sean Casey (MLB.com)

“When you have your fourth and fifth guys out of the lineup, it’s hard. Then you end up with Doug Mientkiewicz as your cleanup guy.”

–Mets manager Willie Randolph, on Doug Mientkiewicz and his career .405 SLG hitting cleanup (New York Post)

“He gave me that ‘look.’ I said, ‘You just go sit down and watch an old war horse do his job. Don’t say a word. Let me go.’ There was no meaning behind it. I was just talking [stuff].”

–Red Sox pitcher David Wells, on Terry Francona’s mound visit last week during Wells’ eight-inning three hitter against Baltimore (Providence Journal)

“He was good-natured about it. I kind of liked it when he said it.”

–Red Sox manager Terry Francona, on Wells’ message

“Nolan was 3-4, and Jimmy was 7-1. The question was, would you rather have Nolan Ryan or Jimmy Deshaies? Some guys were foolish enough to say Nolan Ryan. I say, why? You’re gong to end up in last place with Nolan Ryan. With Jimmy Deshaies, you’re going to win the division.”

–Astros manager Phil Garner, recalling a stretch in the 1980s where Jim Deshaies got a ton of run support while Nolan Ryan got very little (MLB.com)

John Erhardt is an editorial assistant at Baseball Prospectus. You can contact John by clicking here or click here to see John’s other articles.

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