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March 13, 2013


Globicide, or Murdering a Baseball

by Larry Granillo


\ˈglō-bə-ˌsīd\ - noun

  1. the deliberate and awesome killing of a baseball by way of a long home run; baseball murder
  2. a home run ball that was the victim of globicide; any home run that causes the exclamation "Oh my god! He killed a baseball!"

This is far from an exhaustive list. Any further examples of globicide are encouraged in the comments!

Example 1

Robinson Cano's blatant act of globicide at Marlins Park was the most recent offense out of the 2013 World Baseball Classic, but nothing in the tournament is going to top Hanley Ramirez's blast against Venezuela.

Example 2

The true victims of globicide extend beyond just the ball, as Brad Lidge can attest following this 2005 Albert Pujols home run.

Example 3

Charges of globicide can be enhanced when the victim travels across state lines.

Example 4

Cases of serial globicide are still rare, but Giancarlo Stanton is living proof that they do exist.

Example 5

While visiting Toronto, Manny Ramirez shows that globicide is an international problem.

Example 6

Years later, the Canadian globicide epidemic continues.

Example 6a

The Windy City just may be the globicide capital of the world.

Example 7

This globicide victim, off the bat of Cecil Fielder, suffered a second death moments later, when it rolled off the roof of Tiger Stadium and fell to the outfield grass.

Example 8

If Steve Sax could be arrested for every unsolved murder in New York City, how many counts of globicide would Barry Bonds have faced if he had played more than three games at Yankee Stadium in his career?

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