Short Relief

Short Relief: We Are Doomed To Remain Tuffy Gosewisch

by Beth Davies-Stofka, RJ McDaniel, and Patrick Dubuque 4/19

One day, the young god Obatala looked down from the sky and said, “The situation in the ballparks needs improvement! I must talk with Olorun and see what can be done.” He said to Olorun, “Poor Happy rules nothing but Joes and Bobs! What he needs are Bucks and Robertos, Roys and Dons. Everyone could...

Short Relief: Aphorisms and Fables

by Emma Baccellieri and Jeffrey Paternostro 4/18

As a kid, I had no routine that I loved quite so much as that of my nightly bedtime story, and for quite a while, there was no source of that story that I loved quite so much as Indians Baseball: 100 Years of Memories. The book wasn’t meant to be used as a collection...

Short Relief: A Big Surprise

by Adam Sobsey, Jason Wojciechowski, and Kate Preusser 4/17

(after Updike, and Camus) “Word is the actual attendance at Monday’s #Rays-#White Sox game—people who used tickets to come in—was 974.” –Marc Topkin, Twitter, April 10. We’d had snow, and when the night game was rescheduled for 1:10 due to cold, that cinched it. My parents made me get this job—value of hard work and...

Short Relief: Fading to Gray

by Patrick Dubuque, James Fegan, and Holly M Wendt 4/16

The terrible thing about growing old in 2018 is that everyone else talks more like Lenin and I just look more like him. It’s a Saturday in mid-April, and stinging rain pelts the retractable roof of Safeco Field, and the summer is almost over. I am sick, and amongst the youthful chatter, I feel terribly...

Short Relief: Pushing the Limits of Science

by Mary Craig, Bryan Grosnick, and Matt Sussman 4/13

He had never really been able to discern whether his love of Fight Club informed his foray into cloning or if his interest in the highly controversial process predated his affinity for the novel. In any case, he found comfort in the likeness of the two, although cloning required a mere three rules: under no...

Short Relief: The View from the Field

by RJ McDaniel, Beth Davies-Stofka, and Patrick Dubuque 4/12

You are a Little League player. It’s the first game of the season. You are standing at the plate, ready to lead off the third inning. You take deep breaths, watching as the pitcher scuffs his cleats on the rubber. He is long finished with his warm-up throws, and seems to be drawing a shape...

Short Relief: Current Events

by Emma Baccellieri, Matt Ellis, and Kate Preusser 4/11

The British Virgin Islands Marlins celebrate home runs by setting off the miniature volcano in left field. “This is just how the islands themselves were created!” the team’s publicity office crows when the great gurgling mass is unveiled. When a television reporter discovers a few weeks later that the “highly technical live-action sculpture” actually runs...

Short Relief: The Disastrous Consequences of Food

by James Fegan, Trevor Strunk, and Adam Sobsey 4/10

It’s the 9th inning; your team is clinging to a one-run lead on the road with two outs. As first baseman, it’s your job to pretty much just play catch with your teammates and not screw anything up, but there’s a problem. The left fielder and former teammate you despise has stepped into the batter’s...

Short Relief: High Fructose Baseball

by Holly M Wendt and Jason Wojciechowski 4/09

On Saturday night, in defiance of yet another gray, decidedly unspringly day, I decided to make milkshakes. We had ice cream leftover from a birthday event, and the Phillies were starting at home early in the evening after a day off. After spending the day buried under blankets and grading, too, it seemed like a...

Short Relief: If You Don’t Love Me At My Decline Phase

by Matt Sussman and Mary Craig 4/06

(In honor acknowledgement of.) Having a baseball player during his cost-controlled early years seems like the best time. You imagined him improving year after year, possible Hall of Fame discussion, and finally taking a hometown discount to stay with you. That happens sometimes, but as you have learned, it doesn’t occur all that much. You...

Short Relief: A Phillie For Life

by Patrick Dubuque, RJ McDaniel, and Beth Davies-Stofka 4/05

Yesterday, the Colorado Rockies announced a six-year extension for star outfielder Charlie Blackmon. The presentation was superb, but one was forced to compare it to the somewhat lackluster way that the Phillies announced their own six-year agreement with top prospect Scott Kingery a week ago. It feels a little unfair. Perhaps it’s too late, but...

Short Relief: Foreign Substances

by Matt Ellis, Patrick Dubuque, and Emma Baccellieri 4/04

Story co-credit: W.C. Heinz // Photo credit: © Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports They were staring at their phones, the weather app reading 37, when it began, there, under the clouds, in the heart of the big apple. Three-thirty, but on it went. Windbreakers screeching during opening workouts from them, there, running and walking and in...

Short Relief: A Little Light Badinage

by Kate Preusser and Adam Sobsey 4/03

Taylor, a marketing manager, and Lindsey, who designs high-end clothing for dogs, are on the hunt for their first MLB player. Taylor likes the classics: clean lines, stirrup socks, and OBP for days. Lindsey, who has a taste for luxury, wants something modern, with a high launch angle the couple can have their friends over...

Short Relief: Grabbing a Cold One

by Holly M Wendt, Jason Wojciechowski, and James Fegan 4/02

Somehow, I’d never been to Camden Yards prior to Saturday night, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the Phillies, Pirates, and Nationals were all opening the season out of town, that trend would likely have continued. But the schedule is as the schedule does, and we trundled our way to Baltimore to watch...

Long Relief: Overly Specific Staff Predictions

by BP Staff 3/30

Yesterday the BP staff made their traditional predictions: standings, awards, victors. It’s a pleasant exercise, certainly, but you don’t come to Baseball Prospectus to learn generic information like “who will win.” You want the hard truth, and we here at Short Relief are there to provide. Said prognostications come in two flavors: answers for general...

Short Relief: Some Personal Matters

by Zack Moser, RJ McDaniel, and Beth Davies-Stofka 3/29

This is my first Opening Day without my dad. Not that Opening Day had been a ritual for us, or that it holds any particularly special meaning beyond our shared love of baseball. But my dad and I did share many of these ceremonial beginnings, mostly of the amateur kind as he coached my Little...