Today I’m going to indulge in one of the hoariest media traditions known to humankind: It’s my How to Fix the Yankees Column. Every year that the Yankees’ World Series aspirations come to grief, writers near and far offer up their prescriptive takes on just what needs to be done to restore the glory of yore. I’m no different. Whereas some deluded Gotham types concoct wild hypotheticals that involve swapping Drew Henson, Jeff Weaver, Amsterdam brothel vouchers, an “A Man Apart” DVD and a suitcase of unmarked bills for “Insert elite, untouchable performer here,” I’m going to do my best to remain grounded in reality. In the Yankees’ case, reality means profligate spending on the free-agent market.
Ah, free agent filing season, the most exciting time of the baseball season. What sports fan doesn’t eagerly check the Web several times a day, an ear to the radio and an eye on ESPNews, hoping to find out if Kenny Lofton beat Marvin Benard in the race to file for the millions their agents have assured them is waiting for each. Yes, faster than you’ll hear someone sing “baby” after tuning into your local pop/R&B station, the long quiet is on us. We’re left to looking over the free agent lists and trying to come up with funny teams. Like: How much would you have to pay to lose more games than the Tigers next year?