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Prospectus Hit List for September 10



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for September 9 Hit List for September 11
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

I am a Hit List, and you're gonna hear me roooooar.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLF AHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

48

96

51.8

45.9

48.0

.336

.354

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Surprisingly the Astros seem to have failed just as badly without Carlos Pena and Rick Ankiel, proving yet again that clubhouse chemistry isn't quite as valuable when you stink at baseball.
2

53

89

57.0

52.6

53.4

.380

.362

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

"Oh great, here comes Matt to make fun of the Marlins for batting Justin Ruggiano and his .398 slugging percentage cleanup." "Yep."
3

66

77

58.7

58.6

60.6

.426

.407

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Phillies are 4-3 since trading Michael Young. So THAT was the problem.
4

65

77

60.8

61.7

62.1

.439

.420

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

How mediocre are the Padres? They're even second-to-last in games played.
5

64

78

65.2

63.5

63.1

.450

.431

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Mets only hit last night came from someone named Zach Lutz who, research shows, is Mr. Met's alter ego.
6

61

82

65.7

68.3

68.2

.460

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Travis Wood threw seven innings with seven Ks and no walks, lowering his ERA to 3.05 and raising his record to... 9-11? HE'S NO GOOD!
7

62

80

64.2

66.8

68.4

.460

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

With the Astros now in the American League, that clears the way for the Brewers to lead the National League in getting caught stealing! Yay!
8

65

79

63.6

68.3

69.0

.462

.442

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If first was called Stormberry and therefore didn’t rhyme with worst, do you think the Giants would be a big juicy Strawberry right now instead of in last place?
9

58

85

62.2

61.4

61.0

.424

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It's a shame that by the time the White Sox are any good again Chris Sale will be recovering from Tommy John Surgery. Not to be a downer or anything. *sips coffee* *leaps from bridge*
10

66

79

70.2

69.5

66.3

.469

.449

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Rockies are close to a very odd team record: if they lose their next 587 games, they'll finish 66-666. Odd!
11

62

80

60.9

64.1

63.9

.442

.462

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I've been waiting for a game with crazy low attendance that shows us the season is over, and last night I got it: 2,013 people attended last night's Twins/Angels game. Rats.
12

65

79

61.0

65.1

64.5

.444

.464

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Taijuan Walker struck out eight and walked only one in five innings before Mike Rizzo called to shut him down for the season.
13

72

71

70.7

69.0

69.0

.491

.471

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

-0.8%

The Diamondbacks are 16-19 against last-place teams and 14-14 against first-place teams. Probably because their uniforms are terrible.
14

67

76

67.8

65.0

66.8

.466

.486

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The highest Toronto's playoff odds ever got was 30 percent (on April 1st).
15

74

69

71.2

73.1

71.7

.507

.487

0.0%

1.2%

1.2%

0.8%

-0.0%

Yesterday, eight games out of the Wild Card. Today, seven. Tomorrow, WOLRLD DOMINATION!! Or six. (But probably seven.)
16

76

68

71.6

64.3

66.0

.482

.502

0.0%

4.7%

4.7%

-2.2%

-6.3%

If you don't look at advanced stats, traditional stats, actual results, or anything with your eyes open, CC Sabathia is having a heckuva year!
17

67

76

69.7

71.3

70.6

.487

.507

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Last night, Mike Trout struck out three times because sometimes he feels guilty.
18

75

69

75.7

69.1

70.0

.503

.523

0.0%

0.9%

0.9%

-0.8%

0.1%

How is Carlos Pena doing with the Royals? Picture your dog snuffles. Now put a Royals jersey on him, and give him a bat. That well.
19

82

61

76.3

79.1

80.2

.555

.535

20.5%

79.1%

99.7%

0.0%

-0.2%

Backward is thing every! Team losing a not are Pirates the!
20

77

66

75.8

73.8

75.4

.528

.548

2.5%

24.8%

27.3%

6.7%

15.7%

The Indians scored four runs, three on solo homers and the fourth on a throwing error, because in your face that’s because.
21

77

66

76.4

74.4

75.4

.530

.550

0.1%

12.6%

12.6%

2.1%

-2.3%

Is Chris Tillman an ace? No, he's a goblin. Wait, we were talking Halloween costumes, right?
22

84

59

80.2

83.2

81.2

.574

.555

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Dodgers are 3-4 since acquiring Michael Young.
23

82

63

84.0

85.6

86.0

.582

.562

21.7%

77.4%

99.1%

-0.7%

0.9%

Bronson Arroyo has walked 27 hitters in 186 innings and through some sort of dark sorcery all of them were Joey Votto.
24

83

60

87.2

81.7

81.5

.583

.563

57.7%

42.2%

99.9%

-0.0%

0.1%

The Cardinals are 16-15 in one-run games because they treat advanced standings the right way.
25

86

57

86.8

85.3

82.0

.595

.575

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Goofus Gattis hasn't walked twice in a game all season. Gallant McCann walked twice yesterday.
26

81

62

79.7

79.1

78.1

.556

.575

31.5%

59.6%

91.1%

-2.6%

-4.2%

Yu Darvish was kind enough to let the Pirates win their 82nd game, ensuring them a winning season. He tripped a kid on the way out of the park though.
27

78

64

75.2

83.1

83.6

.563

.583

0.6%

64.7%

65.3%

-2.6%

-5.1%

In the last 16 days the Rays postseason odds have gone down 26 percentage points. There's a Joe Maddon shift joke in here somewhere but I can't quite dig it up.
28

83

60

81.2

80.8

78.9

.566

.586

68.5%

30.3%

98.8%

-0.2%

1.6%

It’s Bartolo Colon Dr. Pepper Blood Spinning Day, sponsored by Dr. Pepper at WhateverIt’sCalledNow.com Park! All fans in attendance will have their blood removed, spun, and replaced with Dr. Pepper! They’ll also receive an honorary subpoena as well as a real one!
29

87

58

88.8

88.6

87.9

.607

.626

99.4%

0.6%

100.0%

0.0%

1.1%

The Red Sox were off yesterday, but most of the team showed up for optional beard growth practice.
30

82

62

88.1

94.7

94.3

.623

.642

97.5%

1.7%

99.2%

-0.4%

-0.7%

Miguel Cabrera's attempt to become the first player to hit a homer from the clubhouse after getting ejected failed.