Prospectus Hit List for April 24
Hit List for April 22
Hit List for April 27
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 11 | 5 | 10.3 | 11.5 | 11.3 | .601 | .620 | 58.4% | 11.5% | 69.8% | -2.3% | -2.1% |
| Joe Nathan needs Tommy John surgery for the second time. That is to say, a pitcher with two first names needs a surgery with two first names twice. | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 12 | 4 | 11.4 | 12.3 | 11.9 | .599 | .618 | 18.6% | 11.9% | 30.5% | 2.7% | 8.5% |
| Yordano Ventura's momma is so bad at cooking, she thought a ghost pepper was— ow, someone just hit me with a fastball. | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 10 | 4 | 10.0 | 9.5 | 9.1 | .620 | .601 | 63.4% | 17.2% | 80.6% | 3.4% | 10.5% |
| To replace the injured Randal Grichuk, the Cardinals went out of the box and called up Dean Anna from the local university. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 9 | 6 | 8.7 | 10.3 | 10.2 | .620 | .601 | 78.2% | 13.8% | 91.9% | -1.1% | -0.2% |
| Vin Scully spends 10 hours scrolling through the emoji keyboard, stopping to tell an anecdote about each one. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 8 | 9 | 10.5 | 11.7 | 11.5 | .565 | .584 | 20.2% | 15.2% | 35.4% | -4.5% | -2.0% |
| I'm sure Stephen Vogt's .700 slugging percentage is sustainable, especially with uranium isotopes being as cheap as they are on the black market. | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 9 | 7 | 10.0 | 10.1 | 10.5 | .555 | .575 | 12.6% | 17.5% | 30.1% | 2.4% | 14.0% |
| Their only runs yesterday came on a groundout and a balk. Naturally, that was enough to win. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 13 | 3 | 11.0 | 9.6 | 9.3 | .587 | .567 | 40.6% | 21.7% | 62.3% | 2.6% | 16.3% |
| The secret to the Mets offense is simple. One player gets a hit, then tells two teammates to get hits, and then they each tell two more players to get hits, and so forth. | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 9 | 7 | 8.3 | 8.4 | 8.4 | .541 | .561 | 45.5% | 23.6% | 69.1% | -1.8% | -1.9% |
| Their rotation and its 5.42 ERA is not in trouble. It's better than the Orioles' 5.82 ERA, and they won the division last year! | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 9 | 7 | 9.7 | 8.6 | 8.7 | .531 | .551 | 12.3% | 19.4% | 31.7% | 2.5% | 4.8% |
| Winning by a run despite allowing a four-run ninth resulted in the team's first blown blown save. | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 10 | 7 | 10.8 | 9.7 | 9.9 | .559 | .539 | 14.8% | 34.0% | 48.8% | -3.4% | 2.0% |
| As wildfire season approaches, please remember to douse your campfire embers in cold water before leaving Dale Thayer's beard. | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 8 | 8 | 6.9 | 8.3 | 8.4 | .515 | .535 | 25.2% | 26.0% | 51.2% | 3.0% | -10.2% |
| It looks like David DeJesus is going to be the team's primary DeSignated Hitter. | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 8 | 7 | 7.9 | 9.0 | 9.2 | .548 | .529 | 21.4% | 26.1% | 47.5% | -3.0% | -6.1% |
| It must be a thrill for all these top prospects to make the big leagues, look around the stadium, see all the cheering fans, then look further around at the scaffolding. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 8 | 7 | 7.2 | 8.4 | 8.2 | .505 | .525 | 9.0% | 9.7% | 18.7% | -0.3% | 5.5% |
| Twelve different Astros have hit home runs already, or two players fewer than the entire 1998 Astros. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 7 | 9 | 7.8 | 5.7 | 6.0 | .488 | .508 | 44.2% | 17.3% | 61.5% | 4.1% | -4.3% |
| For the first time in franchise history, the Angels recorded just one hit in a game and managed to win by at least two runs. Or to put it another way, Kole Calhoun saved them from a no-hitter. | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 7 | 9 | 7.2 | 8.0 | 8.4 | .479 | .499 | 4.3% | 9.2% | 13.5% | -2.3% | -4.0% |
| The team has recorded just one sacrifice so far, and it belongs to Everth Cabrera, who gave up his Sunday afternoon to take grandma to the bingo parlor. | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 7 | 9 | 7.7 | 7.6 | 7.3 | .518 | .498 | 51.7% | 20.5% | 72.2% | -3.6% | -3.5% |
| The high-priced free agent Max Scherzer got shelled yet again, this time for two runs in seven innings. When will he turn it around? | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 8 | 8 | 8.8 | 8.0 | 7.6 | .505 | .485 | 10.1% | 15.8% | 25.9% | 3.2% | 3.1% |
| It's a good thing pitcher wins don't matter, because after Radhames Liz got his first one in the big leagues since 2008 we'd probably have to, like, get him a gift or something. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 6 | 9 | 5.5 | 6.0 | 6.2 | .463 | .483 | 22.4% | 14.9% | 37.3% | -1.6% | -1.8% |
| It's not just that Nelson Cruz has a league-best eight home runs. And it's not even that Nelson Cruz also has a league-best seven stolen bases. It's that I made one of those up. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 6 | 9 | 6.1 | 5.8 | 6.0 | .444 | .464 | 10.7% | 8.5% | 19.1% | -2.1% | -0.6% |
| Imagine getting in a brawl with Chris Sale. With his arms, you could stand directly toward him and still get punched from behind. | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 9 | 7 | 7.6 | 7.7 | 7.7 | .475 | .455 | 1.3% | 7.0% | 8.4% | 1.1% | -4.2% |
| Rafael Betancourt hasn't hit a batter in 12 years, since he mostly throws away from the batter. He has, however, gotten in fights with several invisible men. | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 5 | 9 | 5.3 | 5.5 | 5.4 | .433 | .453 | 10.3% | 8.2% | 18.5% | 1.0% | -4.3% |
| Anthony Swarzak secretly pitches for six different teams in mop-up duty, just to make ends meet. This economy, I tell ya. | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 8 | 7 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 7.6 | .473 | .453 | 2.2% | 3.5% | 5.7% | -0.7% | -2.1% |
| They haze rookies but not veteran catchers who get tagged out by Bartolo Colon in a rundown. Doesn't seem fair, but that's why AJ Pierzynski wrote the clubhouse rules. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 8 | 7 | 8.4 | 6.7 | 6.7 | .471 | .451 | 1.1% | 4.3% | 5.3% | -0.5% | 0.6% |
| First, Will Ferrell suits up for them in spring training. Now, Frank Caliendo takes batting practice with the team. I thought after last year, the team got rid of all the comedians. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 8 | 8 | 7.7 | 7.0 | 7.1 | .466 | .446 | 3.7% | 7.7% | 11.4% | -2.2% | -2.5% |
| Three hours of CNN primetime news coverage is now focused on the whereabouts of Devin Mesoraco's availability. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 5 | 11 | 7.4 | 7.7 | 7.6 | .466 | .446 | 5.2% | 8.1% | 13.3% | 1.6% | -6.1% |
| There's no way we can ease relations with Cuba if we constantly have Giancarlo Stanton's bat pointed at them. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 7 | 10 | 6.1 | 7.3 | 7.2 | .460 | .440 | 4.6% | 15.5% | 20.2% | 2.0% | 0.6% |
| Santiago Casilla is now tied for the team lead in pitching wins with Chris Heston, and wait did I do the wrong team comment again | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 6 | 9 | 6.3 | 4.7 | 4.6 | .419 | .438 | 4.2% | 5.1% | 9.3% | -0.3% | -1.0% |
| Prince Fielder has four errors in just nine starts. He's back! | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 6 | 9 | 4.9 | 4.1 | 4.8 | .385 | .404 | 2.0% | 2.2% | 4.3% | -0.4% | -0.5% |
| If Jordan Schafer doesn't start hitting, they're going to let him go on waivers and call up Byron Buxton. Schafer needs to start making contact so, well they'll still get rid of him to call up Byron Buxton. | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 3 | 13 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 3.8 | .357 | .339 | 1.5% | 4.2% | 5.7% | 0.7% | -8.1% |
| Snapping an eight-game losing streak is relieving, but the Brewers literally forgot how to celebrate after a win. Smiles? Some type of hand ... clapping thing with teammates? | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 5 | 11 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.3 | .348 | .330 | 0.3% | 0.6% | 0.9% | -0.0% | -0.5% |
| Yesterday's Phillies lineup had 2,312 career hits and was filled out by a manager with 2,386 career hits. | |||||||||||||
On, among other things, the Mets' con.