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Prospectus Hit List for August 3



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for July 31 Hit List for August 5
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

We all survived the trade deadline! Let's celebrate with a brand new Hit List!

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff% 1-Day7-Day
1

54

52

63.5

59.6

59.2

.557

.577

16.6%

39.8%

56.4%

6.6%

14.2%

The Jays have outscored the second best offense by 49 runs and the third best by 88. And now they have Troy Tulowitzki. This is called re-buttering your bread.
2

57

47

52.8

55.9

55.5

.532

.512

2.9%

59.7%

62.6%

6.3%

19.5%

The Cubs are reportedly looking into adding Chase Utley making it more likely that Theo Epstein has been terrified into it by the ghost of Shawon Dunston, or considering Dunston isn’t dead, then by Dunston dressed in a sheet yelling “Wooooo! Woooo!”
3

55

50

52.3

52.8

52.9

.507

.487

43.6%

5.7%

49.3%

5.6%

0.9%

The Mets are in a first place tie in the NL East by which I mean LOOK OUT! TRAAAAAIN!
4

59

45

58.1

60.3

59.4

.569

.589

77.5%

16.1%

93.7%

3.5%

3.8%

Luis Severino will make his major league debut for the Yankees on Mon… oh his arm exploded sorry never mind.
5

61

43

58.0

56.0

54.3

.551

.531

8.3%

72.0%

80.3%

3.5%

-0.9%

If he does indeed miss the rest of the season the Pirates will miss A.J. Burnett, but they’ll miss the scarecrow most of all.
6

51

54

49.1

50.8

51.2

.481

.501

1.0%

8.3%

9.3%

2.8%

-9.7%

After trading Joakim Soria, Tigers manager Brad Ausmus said he’ll go with Alex Wilson at closer. Upon hearing that, Wilson entered the federal witness protection program. His whereabouts are unknown but YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO BACK.
7

51

53

47.7

46.1

47.0

.461

.481

1.0%

8.8%

9.9%

2.1%

1.5%

It’s somewhat fitting that Cole Hamels, whose spoonerism is Hole Camels, ended up in Arlington, which is about as close to a city that needs camels as exists in baseball.
8

52

54

50.8

52.9

53.4

.493

.513

1.7%

13.7%

15.4%

1.6%

2.6%

The Rays successfully avoided getting swept by Boston which is a bit like successfully avoiding a head-on collision during your driving test.
9

60

46

62.6

64.8

65.0

.595

.614

78.7%

16.7%

95.4%

1.5%

12.8%

Cole Hamels reportedly rejected a trade to the Astros, yet he wound up traded to a team in the same state but further back in the standings. Reports are inconclusive as to whether or not a horse's head was found in his bed following the trade.
10

60

45

60.3

66.2

64.6

.598

.578

84.8%

9.2%

94.0%

0.7%

2.4%

It’s bizarre to think that the Dodgers added Bronson Arroyo at the trade deadline not in some financial shenanigans but because they actually might need him to pitch for them.
11

48

58

46.3

49.9

51.9

.463

.482

0.2%

2.1%

2.3%

0.4%

-1.9%

I’m surprised that with the Mariners record, Jack Zduriencik didn’t trade off some of the underperforming letters from his last name.
12

47

59

57.3

57.7

58.2

.519

.539

0.1%

1.2%

1.3%

0.3%

-0.7%

The A’s are 11-25 in one-run games. What… I… just… I just can’t.
13

67

38

66.1

60.8

60.4

.606

.587

88.8%

10.8%

99.6%

0.2%

-0.1%

The Cardinals don’t always pick up guys like Brandon Moss only to see them turn into Babe Ruth clones for two months. It only feels that way.
14

47

58

45.0

42.8

42.5

.422

.403

0.2%

0.0%

0.2%

0.1%

-0.1%

The Nick Markakis deal is like a mountain in the middle of the Kansas plains. You look at it and think ‘Now that doesn’t make any sense.’
15

43

62

48.3

50.5

50.4

.458

.438

0.1%

0.0%

0.1%

0.0%

-0.3%

Adeiny Hechavarria’s game winning three run home run gives me the chance to mention his name anagrams to I Envy A Hair Charade.
16

44

59

45.5

44.6

44.3

.433

.413

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

Reportedly the Rockies told Troy Tulowitzki they’d consult him about any potential trades, then they traded him to Toronto. They haven’t consulted him yet, but I’m sure they will soon!
17

41

65

39.2

38.0

37.8

.368

.350

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Now with Papelbon and Hamels dealt, the Phillies can get down to the business of deciding which players will be a part of the next greatly mediocre Phillies team.
18

62

42

58.6

54.8

55.5

.555

.575

96.8%

2.0%

98.9%

-0.0%

1.6%

It’s fine for the Royals and Blue Jays to bicker over a game, but just wait until the games actually mean something! <- ringing endorsement for the MLB regular season
19

47

56

46.9

51.3

50.4

.475

.455

0.0%

0.0%

0.1%

-0.0%

-0.1%

It looks like it’s time for the Reds to rebuild, by which I mean be not quite as good over the next five years until their front office is fired. Fun times!
20

44

62

46.9

44.6

45.0

.426

.406

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.0%

Sandwiches are delicious!
21

47

59

46.3

48.0

48.3

.447

.467

0.0%

0.8%

0.8%

-0.4%

-1.9%

Henry Owens, Boston’s top pitching prospect will make his major league debut Tuesday in Yankee Stadium so that’s probably the day the Earth crashes into the Sun.
22

50

53

51.8

51.6

51.6

.498

.478

0.2%

1.3%

1.5%

-0.5%

-0.1%

At this rate, this offseason, the Diamondbacks will trade Paul Goldschmidt for Edinson Volquez… and suddenly the Royals 2014 offseason becomes clear!
23

51

54

47.1

45.5

46.7

.453

.433

0.2%

1.7%

1.9%

-1.1%

0.5%

The Padres believe they can still win their division which makes sense because it’s about as realistic now as it was in March.
24

48

56

47.5

55.2

56.2

.497

.517

0.6%

5.2%

5.8%

-1.9%

0.6%

It’s hard to fathom how bad Jose Ramirez was at the plate until you consider that Francisco Lindor’s .265/.299/.386 line is roughly twice as good.
25

55

49

57.0

54.7

55.4

.534

.554

20.0%

46.3%

66.3%

-2.2%

-18.5%

In the Battle of Los Angeles, Rage Against the Machine rocked hard core! Also the Angels lost to the Dodgers last night.
26

50

53

44.5

45.1

45.7

.450

.470

0.5%

5.8%

6.3%

-3.1%

1.3%

The White Sox were supposedly interested in adding and then they did add their wins to their losses and realized, ‘whoops, we were thinking of something else!’
27

54

50

51.8

45.5

45.0

.472

.492

1.1%

15.9%

17.0%

-3.2%

-12.5%

For all you who think the Twins might still grab a Wild Card, Minnesota has one month this season with a winning record. Wait this one out and you can grab a Minnesota Twins 2015 AL Champs t-shirt on your African safari.
28

54

49

54.7

55.3

54.0

.529

.509

56.1%

5.5%

61.5%

-6.3%

-9.4%

Are the Nationals really good and just underperforming or are they really bad and have overperformed their whole lives up until Friday? Stay tuned!
29

53

51

57.2

53.7

53.7

.523

.543

4.1%

17.2%

21.3%

-8.0%

6.6%

The Orioles are technically ahead of the Blue Jays right now so screenshot time, O’s fans!
30

57

47

57.8

57.5

56.5

.550

.530

14.8%

34.2%

48.9%

-8.4%

-12.2%

The more you look at the Giants starting rotation the stranger it gets that they let the Dodgers get Bronson Arroyo.