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Prospectus Hit List for August 26



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for August 24 Hit List for August 28
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Ladies and gentlemen, this Hit List is floating in space.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLF Win Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

77

48

71.8

68.1

68.8

.571

.591

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Kendrys Morales hit a 469 foot homer. That must feel like sex drugs and rock ’n roll but without the STDs, hangover, and tinnitus.
2

69

56

68.0

67.4

66.6

.542

.522

88.8%

0.2%

89.0%

0.6%

7.1%

When Michael Cuddyer is making the Mets look good, we’re through the looking glass, people.
3

70

57

74.2

75.7

76.1

.583

.602

87.3%

8.7%

96.0%

1.8%

11.0%

New written unwritten rule: it’s okay to act like a jerk as long as you’re up 15-0. Otherwise though…
4

68

56

68.4

75.8

74.1

.577

.558

81.8%

0.7%

82.5%

8.0%

-1.6%

If Vin Scully won’t come back next year, the Dodgers may as well move him to the bullpen right now.
5

80

45

78.0

71.9

71.6

.603

.584

78.9%

21.1%

100.0%

0.0%

0.2%

Yesterday, Peter Bourjos hit a pinch-hit homer so yes the Cardinals are going to win the World Series again. Sorry not sorry.
6

70

55

78.8

74.1

73.8

.593

.613

65.8%

32.7%

98.5%

0.9%

5.9%

It seems like the Blue Jays' strategy of trading for a whole bunch of really good players is working out great!
7

69

56

68.1

69.5

69.4

.552

.572

33.5%

60.0%

93.5%

-2.1%

-0.7%

The Yankees' best pitcher Tuesday was their backup infielder. Expect Dodger scouts at fielding practice tomorrow.
8

66

59

69.1

68.3

67.9

.543

.523

16.9%

2.1%

19.0%

-8.6%

-18.4%

Matt Cain is to pitching what hot sauce is to yogurt.
9

75

49

70.8

69.7

69.1

.574

.554

15.4%

83.7%

99.1%

-0.3%

5.8%

If the Pirates win the World Series they should spend some of their winnings on a huge neon sign in Times Square that reads “Francisco Cervelli is still hitting over .300.”
10

63

61

64.9

66.5

64.8

.522

.502

11.2%

0.9%

12.1%

-0.6%

-7.7%

Someone took the Nationals playoff odds, drew a line over them and put a “1” on top of it.
11

64

61

62.4

60.3

60.9

.495

.515

6.5%

23.8%

30.2%

5.9%

-17.9%

Mike Trout missed a ball in center field. See? I told you Miguel Cabrera should have won the MVP.
12

64

60

59.5

56.9

57.5

.480

.500

6.2%

27.7%

33.9%

-3.9%

12.2%

In a battle of playoff hopefuls, the Rangers are involved yay!!!
13

73

51

66.9

69.3

68.7

.560

.540

5.7%

91.2%

96.9%

1.9%

14.2%

Jake Arrieta is fantastic. Might be a good time to give the Orioles a call about Chris Tillman.
14

62

63

65.7

64.3

63.5

.511

.491

1.0%

0.1%

1.0%

-0.7%

0.3%

Paul Goldschmidt hit a double into the outfield fence on the fly. This concludes the list of interesting things about the Diamondbacks.
15

62

63

60.4

64.8

65.3

.505

.525

0.5%

16.1%

16.6%

-5.2%

2.0%

Catcher Curt Casali injured his hamstring running to first base after hitting a home run. This is the Hit List joke of injuries.
16

61

64

57.7

55.4

55.5

.459

.440

0.3%

0.0%

0.4%

-0.3%

0.2%

James Shields' pitching line last night (5 2/3 innings, five runs, four walks, two strikeouts, and one homer allowed) is only going to make reaching the playoffs that more amazing.
17

62

63

67.8

63.2

63.1

.512

.532

0.2%

6.8%

7.0%

-2.8%

-22.2%

The Wild Card is the north side of the magnet and the Orioles are also the north side of the magnet.
18

58

68

52.5

57.3

58.6

.449

.469

0.0%

0.3%

0.4%

0.1%

-1.1%

Nelson Cruz hit his 38th homer last night. The Mariners have 58 wins. Oh how amazing it would be if he could catch them!
19

64

61

61.4

53.5

54.0

.466

.486

0.0%

14.4%

14.4%

4.1%

10.4%

Miguel Sano homered. If he keeps this up the Twins are likely to trade him for someone who isn't a rally murderer.
20

54

72

51.2

50.2

50.0

.408

.388

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Yesterday, for five innings, Mike Foltynewicz threw consonants to battery mate A.J. Pierzynski. I assume.
21

59

66

57.1

61.1

61.8

.478

.498

0.0%

1.5%

1.5%

-0.9%

-2.4%

The Tigers are nowhere near a playoff spot and they’ve already fired their GM and sold big at the deadline, and yet pitching Alfredo Simon every fifth day still feels like giving up all on its own.
22

57

69

58.6

59.8

59.3

.466

.486

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

-0.0%

The Red Sox are reportedly going to move Hanley Ramirez to first base next season. He’ll be terrible there of course, so look for Hanley to take over third base coaching duties in 2017.
23

50

76

46.8

46.1

45.8

.375

.356

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Cameron Rupp wears number 29 because someday, far far in the future, the Phillies will not be 30th on the Hit List. Cameron Rupp sees a brighter future for the (Phillies') children.
24

55

72

65.3

67.4

68.8

.505

.525

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

0.0%

0.0%

The A’s lost another one-run game, but this one wasn’t on the bullpen. You gotta mix ‘em up I guess.
25

59

65

55.8

55.2

56.5

.457

.477

0.0%

1.8%

1.8%

0.6%

0.3%

Trayce Thompson fell a homer shy of the cycle, just like the rest of us.
26

52

72

55.4

58.7

58.9

.454

.434

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Joey Votto update: four plate appearances, three walks, still awesome.
27

51

75

56.7

58.1

57.2

.442

.423

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Giancarlo Stanton is on the verge of returning to the lineup. Jeffrey Loria's fantasy team is so psyched!
28

59

66

60.3

69.8

70.9

.520

.540

0.0%

5.8%

5.8%

1.5%

2.4%

Carlso Carrasco hit the DL with a sore shoulder, which reminds me: always trade all your pitchers forever and ever.
29

50

74

51.3

50.0

48.8

.403

.384

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I checked the scores and the Rockies won yesterday! Ha! And you didn’t think they were still playing.
30

53

73

55.3

53.0

53.5

.426

.407

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Brewers should hire Bernie the Brewer as GM. A GM/mascot could save some serious coin!