Quantcast

Prospectus Hit List for September 4



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for September 2 Hit List for September 9
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

If you are out of lighter fluid before the big barbeque weekend, just toss these hot takes onto the grill.

RkTm WLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

86

47

83.8

77.0

76.8

.608

.589

95.2%

4.8%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Cardinals lost their next 20 games in a row they’d still make the Wild Card.
2

82

51

77.8

73.7

74.2

.578

.598

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Kendrys Morales is doing everything he can to make fans and analysts forget the Royals signed Alex Rios too.
3

79

53

74.1

73.7

72.8

.567

.548

4.3%

95.1%

99.5%

-0.1%

0.0%

The Pirates are 10-18 against the Brewers and Reds this season. Oops.
4

76

57

85.9

81.7

81.7

.611

.630

69.5%

30.4%

99.9%

0.2%

1.4%

Marcus Stroman may return to the Jays soon, meaning we’ve gone from a nothing team two months ago to, ‘Hey! That’s not fair!’
5

75

58

73.8

81.0

79.5

.581

.562

97.2%

0.3%

97.5%

0.3%

15.0%

Apparently Don Mattingly and Mat Latos disagree on the leash size Latos should be afforded.
6

75

57

68.3

72.4

71.8

.544

.524

0.5%

94.4%

94.9%

1.2%

2.3%

By math, the Cubs can’t lose 100 games, but by Cubs fans' math, they still can.
7

74

58

74.5

74.9

75.0

.565

.585

30.5%

67.6%

98.1%

-0.2%

6.0%

Now with Mark Teixeira on the DL, the Yankees will turn to 22-year-old Gregory Bird. This will hurt them in the field, but it’s a massive upgrade in pun potential.
8

74

59

72.7

73.6

72.0

.549

.529

90.9%

0.6%

91.5%

-1.8%

-1.8%

The Mets and agent Scott Boras disagree over the flexibility of Matt Harvey’s innings limit. Boras says it’s made of stone but the Mets say it’s more like a thick cardboard.
9

73

61

77.7

80.0

80.2

.580

.599

80.0%

13.8%

93.8%

0.4%

-3.9%

The Astros are 27-38 on the road despite out-scoring opponents by 26 runs meaning without the magic of playing near a train full of oranges, the team wilts under the pressure.
10

70

62

63.6

61.6

62.2

.488

.508

17.2%

39.6%

56.7%

2.3%

22.2%

All of you who wrote off the Rangers are going to have to invest in some heavy duty Texas-sized erasers.
11

69

65

72.7

71.7

72.1

.533

.513

2.7%

2.5%

5.2%

-2.2%

-18.4%

Tim Lincecum’s hip surgery will end his season and likely his time in San Francisco, though he’s free to enjoy Rice-A-Roni where ever and when ever he chooses.
12

69

64

66.1

57.4

57.9

.471

.491

0.0%

19.1%

19.1%

-5.4%

3.2%

Three at-bats and three strikeouts for Joe Mauer who doesn’t even have any Ks in his name to help the fans poke fun at him.
13

68

65

71.1

73.5

71.5

.534

.514

9.1%

2.2%

11.3%

2.6%

3.1%

Four walks and four runs scored for Bryce Harper who, on the walk home, found a 20 dollar bill coated in dog feces. Perfection is so difficult to achieve!
14

67

66

64.8

62.5

63.7

.485

.505

2.9%

11.4%

14.2%

2.0%

-13.3%

The Angels are reportedly looking at a few candidates for GM: Sike Mcioscia, Mikia Sciosce, Ikemay Iosciascay, and Jim Bowden.
15

66

67

65.2

70.2

70.7

.511

.531

0.1%

8.8%

8.9%

1.2%

-6.0%

Could the Rays make the playoffs? One one hand they’d only need to beat out the Angels, Twins, and Rangers. On the other hand they’re the Rays.
16

65

69

62.7

60.7

60.4

.464

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.1%

0.0%

-0.1%

Finishing up Matt Kemp’s first season in San Diego and [looks at stats] he still has a beautiful smile.
17

65

69

69.3

67.2

66.6

.500

.480

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.2%

The Diamondbacks have been happy with third baseman Jake Lamb but are thinking about pairing him on the left side of the infield with Larry Mintjelly. “We think they’ll compliment each other perfectly,” said a team source.
18

64

68

65.3

74.3

75.4

.528

.548

0.0%

8.0%

8.0%

-0.4%

1.0%

The Indians lost to old team president Mark Shapiro’s new club on Wednesday, prompting accusations of sign stealing.
19

64

69

69.6

64.3

64.6

.493

.513

0.0%

0.7%

0.7%

0.1%

-7.0%

The Orioles are faced with potentially losing Chris Davis this off-season, though you would think they’d be able to find another Chris Davis pretty easily given how common of a name it is.
20

63

71

57.4

63.1

64.4

.463

.482

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

-0.1%

-0.1%

Rumors the Mariners are only considering GM candidates with the last names of Smith or Johnson are unfounded.
21

62

70

59.2

57.5

58.4

.449

.469

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

0.1%

-1.8%

Four walks and four strikeouts for Jeff Samardzija, the spelling of whose name is rapidly not worth the time of major league executives.
22

61

72

57.3

61.3

62.4

.455

.475

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

-1.5%

New GM Al Avila will have to decide whether or not to re-sign his son, catcher Alex Avila this off-season. The job of a father is never finished.
23

61

72

62.0

63.5

63.3

.470

.490

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.2%

Jackie Bradley can hit now and Rick Porcello struck out like 100 guys. Ben Cherington is now Ben Chairthroughawindowington.
24

58

75

60.0

57.5

57.9

.439

.419

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Brewers are in no rush to hire a GM which makes sense because GMs can’t hit.
25

58

76

68.0

70.6

72.1

.501

.521

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

If you ignore that he was traded for the probable AL MVP, Brett Lawrie has really been pretty alright!
26

55

77

59.5

61.9

62.0

.452

.432

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Joey Votto has more walks than the players ranked two-through-four combined.
27

55

78

57.2

55.9

54.2

.418

.399

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

That’s four homers in two days for Carlos Gonzalez who has three more games against Giants pitching, so [does math] eleventy zillion homers then.
28

55

79

60.9

61.6

60.4

.444

.424

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

When owner Jeffrey Loria talks about a front office shake-up, he means he will go up to each member, grab them by the shoulders, and shake vigorously.
29

54

80

49.3

49.7

49.7

.378

.359

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Braves used eight pitchers last night, which in some states would be enough to get you married.
30

53

81

50.2

48.2

47.9

.372

.353

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Ruben Amaro has helped transform the farm system in one year’s time. Now if they’ll give him a contract extension, he can destroy it even quicker.