ABBOTT: Costello, I’m happy to announce that I’m going to work with the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team as a coach. We’re very excited about the season. COSTELLO: Tampa, you say? I bet you know all the ballplayer names. ABBOTT: [brief panicked pause] Of course I do. A good coach knows all his players’ names….
A handy guide for how to enjoy baseball amidst a) the nuclear holocaust, b) massive cultural appropriation, or c) a widespread epidemic.