You could stop wondering how many calories Pete Alonso burned on his home run trots now; how missing the playoffs helps you look better in wedding photos; if you hate seeing a TV character get embarrassed, you really hate the Wild Card games
Over the holidays, I acquired a nail polish with the tongue-in-cheek moniker of “Sparkling Garbage,” the mossy green of Oscar the Grouch studded with glitter equal in iridescence to a fish belly bobbing atop the East River. The color perfectly matches the name, which in turn perfectly matches my overall 2017 ethos. Inspired, I turned…