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Prospectus Hit List for April 3



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for April 2 Hit List for April 4
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Baseball continues to happen!

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

1

0

0.9

1.0

1.0

.962

.964

19.5%

19.7%

39.2%

-1.7%

0.0%

Dustin Pedroia should make a pact to slide into first base only on Sundays, opposite Thursdays, and Dustin Pedroia Slides Into Head First Bobblehead Night.
2

1

0

1.0

0.9

0.9

.966

.964

15.6%

14.9%

30.5%

0.2%

0.0%

About that 11-run game on Monday: the Mets only had one game in 2012 where they scored more than 11 runs. The bar's been set up in the clouds, city slickers.
3

2

0

1.9

1.8

1.9

.954

.957

8.7%

14.2%

22.9%

3.9%

0.0%

Michael Morse hit two home runs in his return to Seattle last night. The rest of this teammates gazed in bewilderment. They had only read about "home runs" in textbooks.
4

1

0

0.8

1.0

1.0

.915

.921

3.0%

5.3%

8.3%

2.7%

0.0%

For the second straight year they're poised to be the best team without a pitcher that you can easily identify. That's a lie. Scott Erickson.
5

1

0

0.9

0.9

0.9

.913

.919

16.9%

14.0%

30.9%

2.6%

0.0%

And so begins the season-long campaign to inflate Asdrubal Cabrera's trade value. He can hit the knuckleball! He can play defense! He can babysit your children if you give him advance notice!
6

1

0

0.8

0.9

0.9

.888

.896

46.4%

22.4%

68.8%

-0.9%

0.0%

Off days for Los Angeles ballplayers are primarily spent growing their hair and playing "who can assume the most of Vernon Wells' contract?"
7

1

0

1.0

0.8

0.8

.893

.885

44.9%

17.8%

62.8%

1.3%

0.0%

The hardest part about hedge mazes is finding the exit and not Jayson Werth's chin.
8

1

0

1.0

0.7

0.7

.869

.878

8.8%

9.3%

18.1%

1.0%

0.0%

Paul Konerko spent the off day telling all the rookies ghost stories about how his teammates threw the 1918 World Series.
9

1

0

0.8

0.8

0.8

.863

.853

8.2%

10.6%

18.8%

0.8%

0.0%

PREDICTION: Jeff Samardzija sheepishly admits people have been spelling his name wrong this whole time. "It's actually Smith."
10

1

0

0.7

0.7

0.6

.743

.727

23.6%

17.4%

41.1%

-1.5%

0.0%

Is it possible to apply for Upton brotherhood, and how would one go about this? Asking for Gerald Laird.
11

1

1

1.1

1.8

1.8

.710

.726

34.4%

24.9%

59.3%

2.8%

0.0%

Absolutely heartbreaking. Yu Darvish was one out away from the United States becoming energy independent solely on Yu Darvish puns.
12

1

0

0.8

0.4

0.4

.651

.668

68.0%

10.9%

78.9%

-0.5%

0.0%

At last check, RickPorcelloTradeRumors.com is still available.
13

1

1

1.3

1.3

1.3

.617

.598

1.5%

3.2%

4.7%

0.9%

0.0%

The free world was robbed last year of several games where Carlos Gonzalez and Troy Tulowitzki batted back to back. If you can call that a free world.
14

1

1

1.2

1.0

1.1

.540

.520

56.5%

18.0%

74.5%

-3.1%

0.0%

Even today, Vin Scully can still make a crushing defeat seem poetic. Companies should hire him to announce layoffs to people.
15

1

1

0.9

1.2

1.2

.537

.517

17.7%

21.3%

38.9%

-3.0%

0.0%

First 100 fans to attend the next Diamondbacks home game get a free baseball courtesy of Heath Bell!
16

1

1

1.1

0.8

0.8

.463

.443

15.4%

17.0%

32.4%

3.8%

0.0%

The Cards were just 1-for-8 with runners in scoring position, so they hit three home runs instead. If I were a manager, I'd tell my team to hit home runs all the time.
17

1

1

0.8

1.0

0.9

.460

.440

20.4%

23.0%

43.3%

4.2%

0.0%

There was no national live look-in, but Madison Bumgarner proceeded to allow as many hits vs. the Dodgers as the Rangers did against the Astros.
18

0

1

0.2

0.6

0.6

.349

.368

0.5%

0.6%

1.1%

-0.1%

0.0%

A practical solution to the bitter cold in Minneapolis for an outdoor stadium: wear coats, you silly geese.
19

1

1

0.7

0.7

0.7

.383

.365

7.4%

8.1%

15.5%

-2.4%

0.0%

Tom Gorzelanny has a remarkably impressive pitch-to-wild-pitch ratio so far: 17 to 2. I am impressed by wild pitches.
20

1

1

0.9

0.2

0.2

.290

.307

0.1%

0.2%

0.3%

-0.3%

0.0%

Marwin Gonzalez done made some powerful enemies on the other side of the state.
21

0

1

0.3

0.3

0.4

.257

.242

14.8%

14.0%

28.8%

-1.0%

0.0%

The acquisition of Ezequiel Carrera adds some much needed depth to their list of players with a Q in their name.
22

0

1

0.0

0.3

0.3

.131

.141

5.8%

7.2%

12.9%

0.9%

0.0%

Free promotional idea for Kauffman Stadium: Bo Jackson Tecmo Bowl scoreboard races.
23

0

1

0.2

0.2

0.2

.137

.128

9.6%

11.5%

21.1%

2.1%

0.0%

On Pittsburgh off days, how about some statistics about pierogies instead? Yesterday I consumed zero pierogies. I wish it was more.
24

0

1

0.2

0.1

0.1

.112

.104

59.5%

15.5%

75.0%

-1.2%

0.0%

Ryan Ludwick tried rubbing dirt on his shoulder to mend the injury. But now he just has a torn, dirty shoulder.
25

0

1

0.0

0.2

0.2

.107

.100

1.1%

0.8%

1.9%

-0.3%

0.0%

Giancarlo Stanton finally got some pitches to hit. God, he loves batting practice.
26

0

1

0.1

0.1

0.1

.087

.094

12.7%

14.4%

27.2%

-3.9%

0.0%

Being the center of three passed balls, R.A. Dickey's knuckleball is new to the country and was quoted as "just wanting to explore the state," later saying, "Sorry, you guys call them provinces."
27

0

1

0.2

0.0

0.0

.085

.091

23.6%

21.3%

44.8%

-2.7%

0.0%

And your early ERA leader is: Jake McGee! Not the good kind, though.
28

0

2

0.1

0.2

0.1

.046

.050

10.4%

17.1%

27.5%

-2.7%

0.0%

A bit of hitting woes have befallen this team. Might I suggest, for the next game, the entire lineup wear Eric Sogard-style glasses?
29

0

1

0.1

0.0

0.0

.038

.041

41.2%

18.5%

59.7%

-0.9%

0.0%

Robinson Cano still would've earned the big bucks with agent Scott Boras, but he opted for Jay-Z's upstart agency because he wants his new contract to rhyme.
30

0

1

0.0

0.1

0.1

.034

.031

4.0%

6.8%

10.8%

-0.6%

0.0%

You think the Astros had a bad day? The Padres didn't reach base against Yu Darvish at all yesterday.