Prospectus Hit List for April 23
Hit List for April 22
Hit List for April 24
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 4 | 15 | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.9 | .315 | .298 | 0.1% | 0.1% | 0.2% | -0.0% | -0.5% | |
Determining the cleanup batter is a new scientific process involving happening to share an elevator with Jeffrey Loria that day. | |||||||||||||
2 | 5 | 14 | 5.8 | 5.5 | 6.1 | .340 | .358 | 0.1% | 0.1% | 0.2% | 0.0% | -0.1% | |
Leading the league in fewest double plays grounded into (5) should be viewed as a point of pride, so let's make it so. | |||||||||||||
3 | 5 | 14 | 6.5 | 6.1 | 7.1 | .397 | .378 | 1.0% | 1.9% | 2.9% | 0.3% | 0.0% | |
They score six runs per game against the Dodgers and just above two runs per game against everybody else, which explains why the ghost of Bobby Thomson now resides in PETCO Park. | |||||||||||||
4 | 8 | 7 | 6.8 | 7.9 | 8.1 | .455 | .475 | 0.8% | 0.8% | 1.5% | -0.1% | 0.5% | |
Well, it looks like Joe Mauer is gonna have to win games by himself! [dramatic montage of Joe Mauer hitting doubles, then being stranded on base] | |||||||||||||
5 | 8 | 10 | 6.8 | 10.2 | 10.1 | .531 | .511 | 42.3% | 23.1% | 65.4% | 1.0% | -11.6% | |
We now understand exactly how many injuries it requires for a team to regret the departure of Aaron Harang. | |||||||||||||
6 | 5 | 13 | 6.9 | 8.7 | 9.2 | .448 | .428 | 3.0% | 3.2% | 6.1% | -0.5% | -1.7% | |
It's not that they're inventing new ways to lose so much as they are ripping off losing methods from previous Cubs teams. | |||||||||||||
7 | 8 | 12 | 7.0 | 6.1 | 6.4 | .431 | .451 | 4.3% | 8.3% | 12.6% | -2.5% | -10.8% | |
Well, at least they're finally playing like an overhyped American League East team. | |||||||||||||
8 | 8 | 13 | 7.2 | 8.1 | 8.2 | .428 | .448 | 2.5% | 4.6% | 7.1% | 1.4% | -4.7% | |
Felix Hernandez is on pace to win 300 games, all against the Astros. | |||||||||||||
9 | 10 | 9 | 7.9 | 7.9 | 7.8 | .490 | .470 | 34.6% | 19.5% | 54.1% | -2.7% | -4.1% | |
Steve Lombardozzi leads the league with 27 at bats without a strikeout. The next guy is at 12. | |||||||||||||
10 | 7 | 11 | 8.0 | 8.4 | 8.8 | .500 | .520 | 18.9% | 26.2% | 45.2% | -4.3% | -0.3% | |
Quick, name their everyday shortstop. If you guessed "Angels Shortstop," you earned partial credit. | |||||||||||||
11 | 9 | 11 | 8.1 | 8.3 | 8.7 | .463 | .443 | 9.1% | 10.2% | 19.4% | 1.4% | -1.5% | |
Michael Young's 13-game hitting streak counts as "playing the game the right way." | |||||||||||||
12 | 8 | 10 | 8.4 | 8.8 | 8.3 | .483 | .503 | 12.9% | 11.2% | 24.1% | 2.2% | -2.6% | |
Justin Masterson was "masterful," and Asdrubal Cabrera was ... also good! | |||||||||||||
13 | 10 | 8 | 8.5 | 7.8 | 8.0 | .474 | .454 | 6.2% | 8.4% | 14.6% | 1.5% | 6.1% | |
With Kyle Lohse's injury status in the air, they should consider signing Kyle Lohse's doppelgänger, who is STILL unsigned. | |||||||||||||
14 | 7 | 12 | 8.6 | 8.7 | 8.0 | .450 | .470 | 3.4% | 4.7% | 8.2% | -0.7% | -2.6% | |
Adam Dunn can't buy a hit, although in fairness he hasn't checked the black market. | |||||||||||||
15 | 9 | 10 | 9.2 | 8.9 | 9.8 | .510 | .530 | 14.4% | 21.0% | 35.4% | 4.3% | 8.2% | |
To celebrate his two-homer game yesterday, Ryan Roberts will get a new tattoo of Ryan Roberts thumbing through a binder of potential tattoos. | |||||||||||||
16 | 10 | 9 | 9.6 | 9.4 | 10.0 | .504 | .484 | 9.5% | 11.7% | 21.2% | -5.7% | 2.9% | |
Pedro Alvarez is still hitting all three true outcomes: home run, strikeout and whattheheckwasthat. | |||||||||||||
17 | 9 | 9 | 9.6 | 10.8 | 10.5 | .563 | .582 | 72.2% | 9.1% | 81.4% | 1.5% | -4.4% | |
They've had five hits with runners in scoring position since last Monday. Four of them were by a gentleman named Miguel Cabrera. | |||||||||||||
18 | 10 | 7 | 9.8 | 8.8 | 9.0 | .513 | .533 | 10.7% | 11.2% | 21.9% | -0.7% | 3.9% | |
The Royals celebrated Earth Day by making their center field fountain sustainable. From here on out, they'll only use hot dog water. | |||||||||||||
19 | 10 | 8 | 10.1 | 10.0 | 10.2 | .562 | .582 | 43.4% | 24.7% | 68.1% | -4.2% | -0.7% | |
Francisco Cervelli batted fifth for the first time in his career, and I legitimately looked up to see if yesterday was his birthday. It wasn't. Maybe it was his mom's. | |||||||||||||
20 | 9 | 8 | 10.2 | 9.5 | 9.5 | .526 | .506 | 11.6% | 11.6% | 23.2% | 0.1% | -3.0% | |
Well of COURSE they're scoring the most runs per game (5.8). What else do you expect from a lineup featuring Mike Piazza, Robin Ventura, the ageless Rickey Henderson and the pragmatic John Olerud? | |||||||||||||
21 | 11 | 8 | 10.6 | 10.8 | 11.2 | .519 | .539 | 3.6% | 8.7% | 12.3% | 1.3% | 4.2% | |
Is Jim Johnson the best closer in MLB history who was a former Hollywood Squares celebrity? I am guessing at the latter fact. | |||||||||||||
22 | 13 | 7 | 10.9 | 11.1 | 11.4 | .550 | .530 | 30.2% | 22.9% | 53.1% | 2.9% | 4.3% | |
Brandon Belt is the cholesterol in your eggs. Some days it's good for you. | |||||||||||||
23 | 10 | 9 | 11.1 | 10.8 | 11.1 | .546 | .527 | 20.3% | 24.5% | 44.8% | -3.3% | -6.4% | |
So far, just one of their losses on the year was by more than two runs, which means they're always a Kirk Gibson home run away from winning. | |||||||||||||
24 | 13 | 5 | 11.7 | 12.5 | 11.5 | .558 | .538 | 6.3% | 9.6% | 15.9% | 0.5% | 8.7% | |
It's very rude of J.T. Snow to keep postponing games in Denver, whatever he's doing. | |||||||||||||
25 | 12 | 8 | 11.7 | 11.2 | 10.4 | .538 | .558 | 18.4% | 22.3% | 40.7% | -3.4% | -8.6% | |
At long last, Casper Wells finally has a home. That is to say, he can literally build a home in that foul territory. | |||||||||||||
26 | 11 | 8 | 11.9 | 8.8 | 8.9 | .521 | .501 | 20.2% | 17.5% | 37.6% | 2.0% | -0.5% | |
It's entirely reasonable to deny Shelby Miller's existence on the grounds that he was born in the 1990s and that makes you feel old. | |||||||||||||
27 | 13 | 6 | 12.9 | 12.5 | 11.6 | .603 | .622 | 60.1% | 17.1% | 77.2% | 3.1% | 8.7% | |
Let's raise some money to give Derek Holland some minoxidil for his mustache. | |||||||||||||
28 | 13 | 5 | 13.0 | 13.0 | 12.3 | .613 | .594 | 44.6% | 21.5% | 66.0% | -0.9% | -2.9% | |
An unplanned off-day on the road means the Braves had a free night in Denver. Maybe they went to a restaurant, or took in a ballgame. | |||||||||||||
29 | 13 | 6 | 13.2 | 12.6 | 12.6 | .602 | .621 | 34.2% | 30.0% | 64.2% | 2.1% | 9.3% | |
Will Middlebrooks is playing a whole lot better than his little cousin, Will Beginningbrooks. | |||||||||||||
30 | 12 | 8 | 13.2 | 13.5 | 12.5 | .598 | .578 | 61.2% | 14.1% | 75.3% | 3.4% | 10.3% | |
Shin-Soo Choo has now been hit by 10 pitches, but we're not sure how many times on his shin. |
The only J.T. Snow joke you're likely to read today.