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Prospectus Hit List for September 27



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for September 26 Hit List for April 2
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Goodbye Day, Bye Day, gotta get down Goodbye Day.

RkTmWL W1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

96

63

98.7

97.8

96.8

.612

.631

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I wonder if their beards will fly south for the winter! Or maybe I'm thinking of mustaches.
2

94

65

97.9

91.1

90.8

.588

.568

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Over-under on number of pitching changes they make in the postseason: a number higher than you are currently thinking.
3

93

66

97.7

104.8

103.3

.627

.646

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Imagine how many more runs this team would score if Miguel Cabrera would stop jogging around the bases in the passing lane.
4

94

65

95.0

93.1

89.4

.584

.564

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Man, don't try anything silly with Brian McCann behind the plate. Just wait until he's switched out with Gerald Laird, he's cool with everything.
5

94

65

93.4

93.0

90.9

.584

.603

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Coco Crisp is the team's first 20-homer/20-stolen base guy in 20 years. Ruben Sierra was the last. Neither player wore No. 20.
6

90

69

93.0

93.6

93.7

.582

.563

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.9%

Jay Bruce is third in the National League with 30 home runs. Twelve years ago this would have ranked a tie for 24th.
7

88

71

89.1

87.8

87.2

.554

.573

0.0%

35.2%

35.2%

-1.9%

-31.9%

If the Rangers were McDonaldland, Adrian Beltre would probably be Grimace.
8

89

70

86.9

84.2

84.1

.541

.561

0.0%

67.1%

67.1%

0.9%

18.1%

Chris Perez will remain their closer, "because we've been winning games by too many runs," says an insider source who wishes to remain anonymous for some reason.
9

91

68

86.3

91.6

89.2

.563

.543

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Armageddon II (2013, Drama): Yasiel Puig flips a bat into the sky to prevent a meteor from destroying the planet. Starring Michael Young as the ghost of Bruce Willis and Juan Uribe as the meteor. Rated PG-13 for brief nudity.
10

90

69

85.9

94.9

95.0

.575

.595

0.0%

97.8%

97.8%

1.0%

27.8%

Way to spoil Mariano Rivera's final home game by shutting them out. For shame! And after the Yankees rolled over two years ago in Game 162 for the benefit of the Rays by not pitching Rivera in the ninth.
11

91

68

85.1

87.7

88.8

.554

.535

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.3%

Why not just get a Jolly Roger that raises itself? That would save a lot of time and it's better for everyone's back.
12

84

75

84.2

77.0

77.6

.507

.527

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-4.0%

We just may be able to save our economy by switching to the Greg Holland save standard.
13

83

76

84.0

81.0

82.1

.519

.539

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-9.0%

Starting to think Manny Machado will not break the single-season doubles record this year.
14

84

75

82.4

83.1

81.2

.520

.500

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-1.2%

Jayson Werth looks like a man who will enjoy the entire offseason whittling.
15

78

81

80.0

81.4

80.4

.503

.523

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

You laugh, but watch Mike Trout develop two out pitches in the offseason and double as the team's closer in 2014.
16

80

79

79.0

76.4

76.2

.490

.470

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

And they never played a nine-inning game again. The end.
17

82

77

76.5

68.4

70.6

.468

.488

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-1.0%

The worst thing about missing the playoffs is Mariano Rivera doesn't get a second farewell gift from playoff teams. The second worst thing about missing the playoffs is they won't win a championship.
18

72

87

74.9

74.7

71.7

.461

.441

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Five years from now, neighbors are going to start complaining about Todd Helton riding his horse into their yards and not cleaning up its mess.
19

72

87

74.2

71.9

73.9

.459

.479

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

That's right, just keep DHing Munenori Kawasaki until it doesn't hurt anymore.
20

72

87

73.9

76.4

78.6

.473

.453

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If only for another year, the Brewers were at the center of baseball's Yuniverse.
21

74

85

72.6

76.9

77.7

.474

.454

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

December 31, 2013: Giants fans throw a New Year's party because they can't wait for the even-numbered year where they will win the World Series again. The calendar slowly turns to ... 2013b!
22

73

86

72.5

70.6

69.7

.449

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

David Wright, Matt Harvey ... I'll even throw in Johan Santana -- Mets fans constantly love their heroes to be injured superstars with above-average eyebrows.
23

66

93

71.3

74.7

75.5

.452

.432

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Quietly the Cubs are second in the National League in home runs. Maybe if they used aluminum bats more people would hear them.
24

75

84

70.2

71.1

71.7

.453

.433

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

What a memorable night in San Diego for Mark Kotsay's final home game. He went 0-for-3, the fans shrugged and they went home.
25

70

89

66.8

72.0

72.0

.441

.461

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Questions linger about Raul Ibaņez's future, provided he can figure out how to leave left field.
26

62

97

66.4

65.8

66.0

.409

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Say what you will about this team, but despite player turnover and injuries, they still managed to play hard to the final out for that loss.
27

72

87

65.1

65.2

66.6

.423

.403

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Years from now, scholars will remember the time the 2013 Phillies tried to get through a season with one outfielder.
28

59

100

63.1

60.3

60.9

.383

.364

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The future is bright, because now they just need to build a team around Greg Dobbs.
29

66

93

62.5

66.9

67.5

.413

.433

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Colabello, Mastroianni, Plouffe ... wait a minute, the Twins have been writing wines into the starting lineup all year!
30

51

108

56.0

51.2

54.4

.334

.352

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

They were really more like the "P.U-ston Astros" this year, in my opinion. Mostly the W-L record, but also Tal's Hill is starting to smell like cheese. Thanks for reading the Hit List this season, everybody! Stay in school.