Prospectus Hit List for September 2
Hit List for August 29
Hit List for September 6
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 86 | 47 | 90.0 | 94.8 | 93.6 | .685 | .681 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Cubs could get through the season allowing around 500 runs. Making that even more amazing is that 387 of them came in one game. | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 78 | 55 | 81.6 | 85.1 | 84.0 | .618 | .613 | 99.6% | 0.4% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.2% |
| Clayton Kershaw got hurt for a long time. Now the second part of the plan: Jose Fernandez needs to be abducted by aliens. If that happens between now and next week, Max Scherzer will be in the running for NL Cy Young! | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 74 | 59 | 78.1 | 81.8 | 82.2 | .594 | .599 | 36.4% | 48.8% | 85.2% | 1.2% | -2.4% |
| The Red Sox are bringing up Yoan Moncada but I suspect fans are going to be disappointed when they find out he doesn’t pitch out of the bullpen. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 76 | 57 | 77.5 | 78.9 | 79.1 | .586 | .590 | 59.0% | 34.7% | 93.7% | -0.4% | 11.1% |
| Aaron Sanchez beat the Orioles Wednesday to go 13-2. There’s an old Far Side cartoon with a bunch of professors in a lecture hall and they all have ducks. I suspect the playoffs will be like that only with baseball teams and people named Sanchez. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 76 | 56 | 75.7 | 76.7 | 75.3 | .575 | .580 | 89.9% | 7.3% | 97.3% | 0.0% | 2.9% |
| Corey Kluber’s win over the Twins on Wednesday was the result of the classic reversed reverse lock: a game so one-sided as to actually heavily favor the favorite. | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 74 | 59 | 72.7 | 78.6 | 78.9 | .572 | .567 | 79.2% | 17.9% | 97.1% | 0.1% | 1.2% |
| Yasiel Puig may be returning from the minor leagues where I’m certain he learned how to behave and hit and definitely holds no grudges whatsoever. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 70 | 62 | 74.1 | 78.8 | 77.6 | .569 | .564 | 0.0% | 67.0% | 67.0% | 2.2% | -3.5% |
| Matt Carpenter’s OPS isn’t subject to the vagaries and whims of mathematics. The dude goes 0-for-4 and I swear, like a grocery store clown face balloon eyeing you from the flower section, the thing doesn’t move. | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 72 | 61 | 73.2 | 75.4 | 75.1 | .556 | .551 | 20.8% | 57.0% | 77.8% | -0.9% | 1.1% |
| After last night’s loss to the Cubs, the Giants are fortunate that this is their last regular season series against Chicago but unfortunate that they still have to face the prospect of misspelling “Samardzija.” | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 72 | 61 | 69.0 | 71.6 | 71.0 | .533 | .538 | 9.5% | 42.6% | 52.1% | -0.4% | 9.4% |
| The Tigers suspended minor leaguer Warwick Saupold, which raises the question, why would you make someone up just to suspend them? | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 71 | 62 | 71.9 | 69.6 | 68.2 | .528 | .533 | 1.4% | 24.7% | 26.1% | -0.3% | 11.3% |
| Evan Gattis still doesn’t have any triples this season, but George Springer and Jose Altuve both hit one Wednesday because in addition to being good at baseball, they’re kinda mean. | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 80 | 54 | 69.2 | 66.2 | 66.4 | .526 | .531 | 98.5% | 1.0% | 99.5% | -0.2% | 3.1% |
| How lucky have the Rangers been? When they open up a fortune cookie, they get one good fortune and a coupon for 15 percent off lo mein! | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 69 | 63 | 64.9 | 67.3 | 68.5 | .511 | .516 | 0.9% | 6.7% | 7.6% | -0.2% | 2.4% |
| Gary Sanchez is already batting third for the Yankees. Of course, Mark Teixeira is batting fourth so maybe it’s not as big a compliment as it sounds like. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 72 | 61 | 67.2 | 65.5 | 66.7 | .510 | .515 | 3.7% | 23.6% | 27.2% | -0.2% | -16.1% |
| It’s like the baseball gods just noticed the Orioles were running out a starting rotation consisting of a mostly melted ice cream cone, an bottle of turtle wax, and your grandfather’s dusty wig. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 68 | 65 | 68.5 | 66.6 | 66.6 | .507 | .512 | 0.1% | 5.3% | 5.4% | -0.1% | -20.1% |
| The Mariners went from 5.5 games back to 11.5, losing six games in the standings in two weeks. Even worse, they’ve already checked the couch cushions, under the carpet, even in the fridge. | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 69 | 65 | 67.8 | 69.5 | 70.0 | .515 | .510 | 0.3% | 31.7% | 32.0% | -7.2% | 13.2% |
| The Mets are 69-65 meaning everyone on twitter is hoping for a four game losing streak so they can all simultaneously make the same joke. | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 64 | 69 | 68.7 | 69.0 | 69.1 | .509 | .504 | 0.1% | 1.3% | 1.3% | 0.3% | 0.8% |
| How are the Rockies just 10 games back? Did they tie a string to Clayton Kershaw’s ankle back in April when nobody was looking? | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 68 | 66 | 67.7 | 68.6 | 67.7 | .507 | .502 | 0.1% | 9.7% | 9.8% | 3.5% | -16.6% |
| Jeff Francoeur is hitting .368/.429/.526 since joining the Marlins. Apparently the problem was always he just wasn’t far south enough. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 69 | 64 | 64.6 | 60.8 | 61.5 | .481 | .486 | 0.6% | 5.3% | 5.9% | 0.5% | -1.2% |
| The Royals lost a 13-inning game to the Yankees, which is the kind of thing that makes you wonder if there really is a grand plan for us or if, you know, the universe is just kinda winging it. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 67 | 64 | 66.3 | 61.5 | 62.3 | .491 | .486 | 0.0% | 15.0% | 15.0% | 1.9% | 3.6% |
| What is wrong with Andrew McCutchen? Nothing a few months of shooting pucks at a washing machine can’t fix according to the most perfect Pittsburgher Sidney Crosby. | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 56 | 76 | 63.6 | 65.9 | 67.7 | .479 | .484 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Sometimes, occasionally, Logan Morrison hits like a first baseman. Those are the fun days! | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 63 | 70 | 62.1 | 61.3 | 62.0 | .467 | .472 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.4% |
| Jose Quintana gave up seven runs in five innings to the Twins, which caused me to invent Twins Earned Run Average (TwERA) just so I can say Quintana’s is awful. | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 59 | 74 | 64.1 | 57.3 | 58.2 | .448 | .453 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Angels lineup without Mike Trump is like an ice cream sundae without the ice cream or the cup. They just dump hot chocolate sauce on your hands then charge you full price. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 57 | 76 | 56.1 | 55.8 | 56.6 | .424 | .429 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| “Seriously, that's the Khris Davis we meant to get.” Oh, sorry, just trying out some slogans for the 2017 A’s. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 57 | 76 | 57.6 | 55.6 | 54.7 | .423 | .418 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| “There comes a time when all the cosmic tumblers have clicked into place and the universe opens itself up for a few seconds to show you what is possible.” — Matt Garza after giving up three hits in seven innings to beat the Cardinals. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 50 | 84 | 54.9 | 56.1 | 56.5 | .406 | .411 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Twins are 11-24 in one-run games which you might think is bad luck, but actually it’s only marginally worse than their regular season record. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 56 | 77 | 53.6 | 54.6 | 55.5 | .413 | .408 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Should Arizona have traded Zack Greinke back to the Dodgers? The correct answer is: only if they could have included Dave Stewart and Tony La Russa. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 55 | 78 | 58.4 | 52.2 | 51.7 | .409 | .404 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| We, the Padres, have a catcher named Sanchez who homered last night so yeah, Yankees, what’s it to ya? Ha ha just kidding would you guys like to share a beer and talk about our Sanchezes? We’d love to chat! | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 51 | 83 | 51.2 | 55.6 | 55.3 | .397 | .393 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Matt Kemp’s two hits off his former team must have felt great, someone would have said had they been watching the Braves play the Padres which they surely weren’t. | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 60 | 73 | 51.0 | 49.0 | 49.3 | .393 | .389 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Phillies don’t plan on playing Ryan Howard much down the stretch, which means they’ve finally noticed. Congrats, guys. Welcome to the party. We got pins and cake. | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 55 | 77 | 54.0 | 47.4 | 47.9 | .387 | .382 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Reds are still working feverishly to solve the ‘can’t steal first base’ riddle. Once they figure it out, Billy Hamilton will be an All-Star. | |||||||||||||
Here it is!