Arizona Diamondbacks
Big price for Cahill
Ballpark will boost the offense
Wee Willie: Two years?
Atlanta Braves
Injuries slam spring
Can Heyward, Uggla bounce back?
Hanson: Good as new?
Baltimore Orioles
What are they doing?
Need pitching, Duquette on track
Missing Guthrie yet?
Boston Red Sox
Need to stay healthy
Paula Deen can’t cater here
Crawford to bounce back?
Chicago Cubs
Rebuilding takes time
New front office in the house
Garza a goner
Chicago White Sox
Buyers or sellers?
Ozzie ousted; Dunn, not cooked?
Zero farm system
Cincinnati Reds
Big bats leave Central
Pitching and Votto the keys
In it to win it
Cleveland Indians
Kids need seasoning
Searching for identity
‘Choo talkin’ about?
Colorado Rockies
Win Scutaro deal
Questionable rotation
Cue Moyer “old” jokes
Detroit Tigers
Infield heavyweights
Verlander, Fister, then what?
Stars and scrubs approach
Houston Astros
Morose in majors
No prospects in farm system
One syllable: Ouch
Kansas City Royals
Up-and-coming team
Prospects have to earn their keep
Signing young new norm
Los Angeles Angels
The surprise spenders
Six Angels in the outfield
Who’s on the corners?
Los Angeles Dodgers
McCourts are dunzo
Two-year deals for everyone!
Last call for Loney
Miami Marlins
Big buys won winter
Hanley, Johnson must produce
Please don’t hit homers
Milwaukee Brewers
Prince danced to Motown
Plush, Greinke, Marcum remain
Do you miss Yuni?
Minnesota Twins
Concussed to cellar
No young help in near future
But can they throw strikes?
New York Mets
Meet Mets: Still a mess
Will they throw knuckler, keep Wright?
A PR nightmare
New York Yankees
Revamped rotation
Can old offense keep chugging?
Mo’ magic in ninth
Oakland Athletics
Forgot the infield
Good thing unis have name tags
Cespedes for real?
Philadelphia Phillies
Rotation the strength
Big bats missing; where’d Brown go?
Anyone healthy?
Pittsburgh Pirates
Suffering for years
Talent not ready for bigs
Sorry, Pirates fans
San Diego Padres
Smart extensions and
Prospect hauls highlight winter
Front office problems
San Francisco Giants
Posey the lone bat
Great pitching; where’s the hitting?
Wanted: Brandon Belt
Seattle Mariners
King Felix leads way
Jesus can’t save the offense
More than whiff of Smoak?
St. Louis Cardinals
Big Bird flew the coop
La Russa and Duncan too
Better luck next year
Tampa Bay Rays
Not going away
Moore production for low Price
Pena toes the Line
Texas Rangers
Cruz control in West
Pass the Borbon; power up
Young, classy? Yu bet.
Toronto Blue Jays
Built deep talent pool
Could soon be a powerhouse
Well, not Jeff Mathis
Washington Nationals
Celebrate Strasmas
Zimms, pitching make club dark horse
Harper on the clock
Thank you for reading
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Churned its writers
Turned towards fantasy
Still itself? We hope.
Can't forget our past
Far too many greats to name
We still pack a punch
Not broadcast live on t.v.?
Stupid Bud Selig.
Frank McCourt's smoldering mess
Rewarded in end
Frank McCourt's smoldering mess
Rewarded in end
But with a Magic future
Poor fans can win, too
"Better luck next year," you say?
How can things improve?
Going international
Again, Birds fly high
I meant, compared to LAST year.
Who can beat a ring?
Limericks are way more fun
Not just counting words
E.g.,... Boston:
There once was a Sox in Pawtucket
Whose glove was great, and he could chuck it
But Bobby V., it appears,
thinks Aviles "strikes fear,"
So as for the defense, well...
In all seriousness, glad to see this piece make a return, after KG tried it with his org prospect rankings a while back. I just, ya know... never liked haiku.
But maybe it’s not their time
Not yet in their prime
Next time, limerick
Then I can get them out quick
Just hope they will stick
I mess with meter
On the bubble, I teeter
No comment beater
Thank you for reading
You help give my work meaning
You, I’m not beaning
Fantasy team hopes
Steph Bee was just forgetful
Sandoval can mash
If Jack Black can stay away
Earn a Kung Fu Belt :)
Stephi Bee funny as hell
Keep up the good work
No PECOTA forecast yet
Hope percentile high ;)