BP Unfiltered: Keeping Up With the Joneses

Doug Jones' no. 4 comp on Baseball-Reference is Todd Jones. Or maybe Todd Jones' no. 4 comp on Baseball Reference is Doug Jones. I have never kept those two apart, and I continue to not keep those two apart, and so I asked my compatriots at Baseball Prospectus to answer this question: 

Without looking it up, Todd Jones is the one who _____________, while Doug Jones is the one who ______________.

I got responses from Jay, TCM, Ben, R.J., Colin, Brad Ankrom, Woj and alum Marc Normandin. Rather than embarrass any particular one, I'll just list their answers, unidentified:

Answers: 

• Todd Jones closed. Doug Jones tripped the light fantastic.
• Todd Jones had a legit fastball, I think. Doug Jones had the slow-ass changeup. 
• Todd Jones was better than Doug Jones. Doug Jones was worse than Todd Jones. 
• Todd Jones was the Detroit/Florida closer. I don't remember Doug Jones. 
• Todd Jones was the Tigers closer? With the facial hair? And he wrote a terrible blog for a while. Doug Jones. Uhhh. I think he was before that? I actually had a vague idea that Doug Jones was a Pirates starter. I think I was thinking of Doug Drabek. 
• Todd Jones led the league in saves in '00 despite not being very good, and the Twins traded Mark Redman for in '01. Doug Jones had the awesome fu manchu and the terrific changeup and threw in the 80s for the Indians. 
• Todd Jones had the facial hair. Doug Jones had the changeup. 
• Todd Jones "wrote a column" and showed off his homophobia. Doug Jones threw a changeup for about 75 different teams. 

First off, both had facial hair. Both were perhaps most famous for facial hair. Below, you'll see … one of them on the left and the other on the right.

It's different facial hair. The one on the left looks like the guy was huffing hair-colored paint from a paper bag. The one of the right looks like the bat signal, projected (with hair) onto his face. But it's also similar facial hair.

(Note: While saving photos for this, I actually still could not name the players, as I looked at them, after reading all of these and immediately after searching for each player's photo. Which is why one of these photos is named "Tigers".) 

Both also got around. Doug pitched for seven teams. Todd pitched for eight. Todd is the all-time saves leader for the Tigers, and is 11th on the Astros' list, and eighth on the Marlins'. Doug is second on the Indians' list, seventh on the Astros', 11th on the Phillies', 20th on the Brewers, and 29th on the Orioles'.

Still not entirely certain how I'm going to remember this. Let's settle on one very easy detail to remember, and one very easy pneumonic device: Todd was on the Tigers. 

Or

Wait

is it Doug was on Detroit?