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Prospectus Hit List for September 11
Hit List for September 9
Hit List for September 14
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 79 | 60 | 88.1 | 84.4 | 84.5 | .604 | .623 | 72.5% | 27.4% | 99.9% | -0.0% | 0.0% |
| Losing two of three in Boston might be expected for your dad�s Blue Jays, but not for these Blue Jays. I mean, they still did it, but it wasn�t expected! | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 76 | 64 | 81.8 | 84.3 | 84.4 | .583 | .602 | 84.6% | 10.6% | 95.2% | 0.2% | 1.4% |
| In order to prepare for Jered Weaver�s fastball, the Astros are being forced to stay up all night and then attend a two hour lecture on 19th century English literature in the morning. | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 77 | 61 | 77.9 | 77.1 | 77.4 | .560 | .580 | 27.5% | 70.8% | 98.3% | -0.1% | 0.3% |
| The bad news is the Yankees might not have Mark Teixeira or Nathan Eovaldi for the rest of the season. The even worse news is that that�s bad news. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 83 | 56 | 78.6 | 74.8 | 75.0 | .560 | .580 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Johnny Cueto hasn�t been quite what the Royals have wanted so far, but give him a chance to ruin the season in the playoffs before you hate him forever, Royals fans. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 80 | 59 | 78.3 | 86.2 | 84.4 | .592 | .572 | 99.7% | 0.0% | 99.7% | 0.1% | 2.2% |
| Did you know if you type too fast the team becomes the Doggers? That will lead to even stranger Hit List comments than usual! | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 88 | 52 | 83.5 | 76.9 | 77.2 | .581 | .562 | 86.6% | 13.4% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Cardinals have lost six of their last eight, but for anyone who is worried I urge you to look up the phrase �get them out of the way now.� Or not. It�s kind self-explanatory. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 69 | 70 | 69.6 | 79.1 | 79.8 | .535 | .555 | 0.0% | 17.7% | 17.7% | 5.5% | 9.7% |
| Two home runs for Michael Brantley last night, who clearly doesn�t understand why ruining rallies is bad. | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 83 | 56 | 78.7 | 78.9 | 77.9 | .573 | .553 | 11.2% | 88.7% | 99.9% | -0.1% | 0.4% |
| Losing to Milwaukee in 13 innings is like getting an extension on a paper you really need to do well on and then screwing it up anyway. | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 80 | 58 | 73.9 | 77.6 | 77.2 | .559 | .540 | 2.1% | 97.1% | 99.2% | -0.5% | 4.3% |
| It�s a single-admission double header tomorrow for the Cubs. Just like Mr. Cub said, �Let�s play two! And charge for both!� | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 79 | 61 | 77.9 | 78.6 | 76.9 | .558 | .538 | 98.8% | 0.0% | 98.8% | 1.2% | 7.4% |
| Bartolo Colon set the all-time record for most consecutive scoreless innings (31) by a pitcher 42 or older. He also set a record for the longest fart by a pitcher over 40 which lasted from the second batter of the third inning clear through the seventh. | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 68 | 71 | 68.5 | 74.2 | 74.6 | .513 | .533 | 0.0% | 3.1% | 3.1% | 0.2% | -5.9% |
| Has anyone heard from the Rays recently? They were supposed to be home by 10. | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 71 | 68 | 74.8 | 77.4 | 75.1 | .537 | .517 | 1.2% | 0.5% | 1.7% | -0.7% | -9.6% |
| For Halloween, Matt Williams' kids are reportedly planning to dress up as Mike Rizzo. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 72 | 68 | 76.2 | 75.9 | 75.8 | .536 | .516 | 0.3% | 0.4% | 0.6% | 0.0% | -4.6% |
| The Giants are enjoying their season off and gearing up for another title run next year. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 67 | 72 | 72.4 | 67.1 | 67.9 | .494 | .514 | 0.0% | 0.5% | 0.5% | 0.1% | -0.2% |
| We keep hearing how great a manager Buck Showalter is, and once the Orioles are officially eliminated from the playoffs, he�ll face his greatest challenge: making the playoffs. | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 60 | 80 | 69.9 | 72.2 | 73.9 | .493 | .513 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Remember when the A�s had Yoenis Cespedes and Josh Donaldson? It was like a 2015 All Star team in 2013. | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 70 | 69 | 68.5 | 65.4 | 66.7 | .487 | .507 | 1.8% | 8.5% | 10.3% | 0.7% | -3.9% |
| Andrew Heaney has sold 10 percent of his future earnings as stock to be bought by fans. Also for sale, 10 percent of Andrew Heaney�s dinner: several bites of pot roast, some peas, and what will be some incredibly stale bread. | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 66 | 73 | 67.3 | 68.4 | 67.9 | .485 | .505 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.1% | 0.0% |
| Signing Rob Gronkowski to play left field is not part of the Red Sox off-season plan. It should be, but it isn�t. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 73 | 66 | 65.6 | 64.2 | 64.7 | .481 | .501 | 13.5% | 34.4% | 48.0% | -10.4% | -8.8% |
| The Rangers have been outscored by 37 runs, or 32 short of nice. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 68 | 73 | 62.4 | 68.2 | 69.5 | .475 | .495 | 0.1% | 1.2% | 1.3% | 0.7% | 0.9% |
| Nelson Cruz hit his 40th homer and Felix Hernandez won his 17th game. Looking forward to the playoffs, you guys! | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 72 | 67 | 68.3 | 59.7 | 60.6 | .469 | .489 | 0.0% | 25.4% | 25.4% | 3.3% | 6.3% |
| Miguel Sano is David Ortiz. Luckily the Twins are run by a different group of people now! Sort of! | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 66 | 72 | 64.2 | 61.7 | 62.8 | .461 | .481 | 0.0% | 0.4% | 0.4% | 0.0% | 0.3% |
| Asked if he�d consider re-signing with the White Sox, Jeff Samardzija said �Sam, are yah kidding?� | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 67 | 73 | 71.2 | 69.3 | 68.9 | .493 | .473 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.0% |
| The Diamondbacks are going to miss Clayton Kershaw this weekend and I�m sure they�d be happy about that if it mattered. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 64 | 76 | 59.5 | 63.4 | 64.8 | .450 | .469 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.1% |
| Rumor has it that Brad Ausmus will be replaced after the season proving once again that baseball strategy revolving around telling your players to �be more handsome� is doomed to failure. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 67 | 74 | 65.6 | 63.5 | 63.2 | .460 | .440 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.1% |
| Matt Kemp has 11 stolen bases this year. So, uh, yup. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 58 | 81 | 63.5 | 66.0 | 66.2 | .456 | .437 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Joey Votto�s was thrown out after his request for time was not granted by the home plate umpire who mistakenly thought Votto was attempting to steal his watch. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 62 | 78 | 64.4 | 61.8 | 62.2 | .447 | .428 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Jonathan Lucroy might miss the rest of the season. Brewers fans should be so lucky. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 59 | 81 | 63.0 | 63.2 | 62.1 | .442 | .422 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Will [the Marlins] keep the manager? Will he move to the GM�s seat? Will he sell hot dogs in section 230? Will he catch and dress as the mascot between innings? These are all questions Jeffrey Loria is likely asking himself. | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 58 | 82 | 59.6 | 57.2 | 55.5 | .411 | .392 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Another homer, the 38th of the season, for Nolan Arenado. Imagine how many he�d have if the Rockies were a real baseball team! Actually, it'd probably be about the same, wouldn't it? | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 56 | 85 | 51.6 | 52.9 | 52.7 | .378 | .359 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Braves game was called after it rained so hard the field was underwater. There�s a metaphor here someplace. | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 54 | 86 | 51.2 | 48.8 | 48.3 | .361 | .343 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| [comes out from under bed] Is he gone? | |||||||||||||
In Fargo, six or seven kids read the Hit List in a strip mall. I thought they were bored out of their skulls, but it turns out they were having a ball. Uh huh.