It’s been an eventful offseason so far. Certain writers got cranky over Shohei Ohtani’s free agency because they deemed it too slow and mysterious, like TV executives forgetting what kind of show they’d greenlit. The Atlanta Braves have been keeping it weird enough for everyone by making trades that portray them like a drycleaning chemical transaction company (it’s going very well). And, of course, the San Diego Padres dealt away literally Juan Soto to the New York Yankees shortly after the winter meetings ended and rumors had reached the “foregone conclusion” stage.
Like an uncanny portrait on an Etch-A-Sketch it was a stunning move, even if it was expected in the wake of San Diego’s disappointing season and shift in ownership after the passing of Peter Seidler. The deal fundamentally alters the trajectory of each franchise, detailed in the immediate aftermath by Ginny Searle here and Craig Goldstein here. For the Yankees in particular, acquiring a star of Soto’s caliber is like reintroducing yourself to all the flavors of a Gobstopper fresh out of the Wonka factory, because of how his profile can be amplified. Making the move also answered one of the league’s biggest questions, with New York clearly valuing his absurd combination of reliability and skill.
PECOTA—which is live for the 2024 season for those of you with yearly subscriptions!—projects Soto to score the most runs in the league (99). He is the only hitter projected for an on-base percentage over .400 (.419). He is one of six hitters projected to score 90+ runs and drive in 100+ runs. He is one of four hitters projected to walk more than they strike out, with a differential nearly 2.5 percentage points higher than the next closest guy (Luis Arraez). This all positions him to produce the most WARP of any hitter (6.5), topping Ronald Acuña Jr. by a hair (6.4). This is the stuff they use to charge defibrillators and save lives. Numerous residents in the five boroughs have already reported lower blood pressure just by thinking about his throwback whiff rate.
Other parts of the organization understand Soto’s impact off the field, too. He generated hubbub by joining his introductory press conference through Zoom with “22” as his username. First thought to be a misguided effort by MLB to glom onto the Taylor Swift Effect by referencing one of her worst songs, it turns out that 22 will be Soto’s number, as he carries it to New York the same way he did to Washington at the start of his career and San Diego after the first time he was traded. The Yankees’ social media and merchandising teams confirmed it soon enough, posting this salacious photo:
Specifying that this is the left fielder’s jersey, for the Yankees? Giving us eye emojis? Nearly hiding the plastic hangers they’re on by framing the one in front like it’s already in a cold, distant museum that people argue about on an annual basis? Ooh, baby.
The only catch is that the Yankees’ trademark nameless jerseys have sparked mass confusion among other players who have worn 22 for the franchise, and it seems as though their excitement regarding a spike in what they perceive to be their jersey sales has yet to be tempered.
When reached for comment, Roger Clemens, who donned the deuces from 1999-2003 and again in 2007, was visibly confused: “You mean they didn’t retire my number? I could’ve sworn they retired my number.” Randy Winn, who wore it in 2010, was also visibly confused: “Wait, I played for the Yankees?”
Mark Whiten, who represented the number in 1997, was more blunt. “Look, man. I just picked it because that was the number of times I’d smiled in my life. It doesn’t mean anything to me now. I’m up to 25.”
The number went on a journey in 2011, landing at various points with three different players: Greg Golson, Aaron Laffey, and Brian Gordon. Together, they combined for a season that was flavored with all the oomph of a church wafer. When reached for comment Gordon was puzzled. “They told us that we were going to split it. We all got sent home with 7.33 jerseys at the end of the year.” Golson shared how “Randy Levine told us that it was going to be like when hotels skip the 13th floor out of superstition, that they were just going to move beyond it now. But yeah, the recent bump is pretty exciting.”
Said Vernon Wells, who slashed .233/.282/.349 in pinstripes in the final year of his career in 2013, “I wouldn’t expect my jersey sales to peak at this point. I wasn’t there long and I pretty much never played worse as a big leaguer. But, after thinking about it, I guess you could say I Vernoned pretty Wells with the Yanks.”
While that is certainly an opinion one can have, Brennan Boesch, who also wore 22 in 2013, made a more declarative statement. “I told my mom that she has to stop sneaking into the team store.”
Jacoby Ellsbury thought that 22 had a far more clandestine end. “I swear that I snuck it out of the Stadium after 2017, using it to wrap up an old belt that belonged to Wade Boggs. No one even asked about it for a couple of years. I mean, I still have that belt.”
People are asking now, though. For the time being, Juan Soto is the answer. Whether that lasts beyond the 2024 season as he approaches free agency is a separate matter. And if something goes terribly wrong, if Soto gets exposed for running an illegal pigeon-fighting ring or turns out to be way too friendly with Eric Adams or strikes out three times in one game, the Bombers’ nameless tradition can always save the day. It just turns out folks in New York just really love Xavier Nady. League-average OPS+. Left it out on the field. AL Player of the Week that one time. Never accused of maiming birds or small animals. Class act, that Xavier Nady.
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