Prospectus Hit List for May 13
Hit List for May 9
Hit List for May 16
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 25 | 8 | 26.0 | 27.3 | 27.0 | .689 | .684 | 92.7% | 5.5% | 98.2% | -0.5% | 0.1% |
| Jake Arrieta reportedly won’t offer the Cubs a discount in talks of a contract extension, but he will give them a scratch-n-sniff sticker and a lollipop for coming. | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 22 | 13 | 22.9 | 23.0 | 22.4 | .596 | .601 | 57.3% | 22.3% | 79.6% | 3.7% | 7.8% |
| David Price’s new mechanical adjustments not only helped his velocity and command, they helped the Astros hitters suck more. | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 21 | 13 | 21.9 | 21.9 | 20.2 | .597 | .592 | 56.3% | 30.5% | 86.8% | -2.3% | 0.9% |
| Bartolo Colon’s home run was so perfect that, for a brief moment, it solved all known world problems. Scientists are hard at work on a way to levitate baseballs in case he does it again. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 21 | 13 | 21.9 | 22.6 | 22.2 | .596 | .591 | 39.5% | 40.1% | 79.6% | -1.9% | -6.3% |
| Max Scherzer’s 20 strikeouts in Wednesday’s game are more than either Mat Latos or Jered Weaver totaled in seven and six starts respectively this season. Because this is the Nats comment, this is funny, not sad. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 23 | 12 | 21.5 | 21.9 | 21.2 | .576 | .580 | 52.7% | 24.7% | 77.4% | 1.1% | 5.4% |
| Chris Sale’s strikeouts are way down this season, but now he’s getting more grounders and not giving up homers. Crafty Sale! | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 21 | 13 | 20.6 | 21.0 | 19.9 | .567 | .572 | 67.7% | 9.6% | 77.3% | 0.9% | 4.4% |
| Robinson Cano is hitting .303/.349/.606. It's almost as if two hernias were enough to slow him down last season. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 18 | 17 | 19.4 | 21.8 | 21.2 | .577 | .572 | 67.3% | 9.7% | 77.0% | 1.3% | 0.2% |
| Clayton Kershaw threw at least one bad pitch on Thursday night. Probably. I mean, I didn’t see it but statistically it’s likely. | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 19 | 16 | 22.5 | 23.4 | 22.9 | .569 | .564 | 3.8% | 34.0% | 37.8% | 4.0% | 7.8% |
| Remember your imaginary friend in second grade? The Cardinals kinda just did that with shortstop. | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 16 | 15 | 17.1 | 16.5 | 16.7 | .549 | .554 | 41.5% | 28.7% | 70.2% | 0.1% | -2.0% |
| The Indians lineup is a lot like Cleveland, full of nice people who don’t walk as much as they should. | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 21 | 12 | 19.8 | 20.1 | 19.5 | .542 | .547 | 10.9% | 20.2% | 31.1% | 0.8% | 11.2% |
| If the Orioles could just skip over the part where they use a starting pitcher, everything would be alright. | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 15 | 17 | 14.9 | 17.8 | 18.5 | .533 | .538 | 15.7% | 26.6% | 42.3% | -0.3% | -1.7% |
| The Braves are the last team without a triple this season. Why mention that here? Because the Rays have one triple and they’re actually trying to win. | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 18 | 18 | 19.9 | 18.7 | 19.9 | .529 | .534 | 12.5% | 22.8% | 35.3% | -0.8% | -3.6% |
| The Blue Jays bullpen isn’t that bad, people, so just calm down. I mean, it’s not like it’s hitting .172 with four years and $92 million left on its deal. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 18 | 15 | 17.3 | 17.5 | 17.1 | .519 | .514 | 3.5% | 29.2% | 32.6% | -2.3% | 0.6% |
| Jung-ho Kang is back from injury, and because he’s only had 15 at-bats, he sports the delicious early-season slash line of .333/.353/1.000. Long live early-season baseball! | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 19 | 18 | 18.3 | 18.8 | 18.9 | .515 | .510 | 21.1% | 16.0% | 37.1% | 2.6% | -0.4% |
| The Giants, Angels, and White Sox are reportedly the last three teams in on Tim Lincecum. This is like the mating dance of some rare South American bug. Why the White Sox and Angels are involved in a rare bug-mating dance I don’t know. | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 20 | 15 | 18.9 | 16.6 | 16.9 | .498 | .503 | 17.7% | 13.0% | 30.7% | 0.9% | 12.6% |
| Someone told me “Prince died” and I looked up his batting average and was like, yeah, pretty much. | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 18 | 15 | 15.7 | 17.7 | 17.4 | .497 | .492 | 3.3% | 15.1% | 18.4% | 0.7% | -3.3% |
| The Marlins haven’t been hitting many homers, which could be a health and safety decision to protect the crowd from death by gaudiness. | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 14 | 22 | 15.4 | 16.2 | 15.8 | .485 | .490 | 11.9% | 10.3% | 22.1% | -2.7% | -0.6% |
| Last season Dallas Keuchel’s spirit animal was the lion. This year it’s the greasy tub of fried chicken. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 16 | 18 | 16.3 | 17.6 | 18.1 | .483 | .478 | 4.1% | 4.3% | 8.4% | -0.6% | -3.6% |
| Being a pitcher in Colorado is like driving a cab in New York. People yell at you in different languages, you’d rather be working anywhere else, and eventually someone is going to pee on you. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 15 | 19 | 15.6 | 15.5 | 15.1 | .471 | .476 | 3.7% | 7.2% | 10.9% | -2.0% | -12.9% |
| When the Tigers tell their relievers to stop being bad, perhaps the relievers think they mean Michael Jackson bad? | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 17 | 20 | 17.1 | 18.0 | 19.2 | .481 | .476 | 5.2% | 4.7% | 9.9% | -2.1% | 3.5% |
| The Diamondbacks plan to make us forget their uniforms by playing mediocre baseball is proceeding perfectly. | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 14 | 19 | 14.4 | 13.8 | 14.4 | .470 | .475 | 3.6% | 7.7% | 11.4% | 1.5% | 0.9% |
| Chase Headley had his first extra-base hit yesterday. At this rate he’ll end the season with five extra-base hits, which, in fairness, is four more than he has right now, so... | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 16 | 18 | 14.8 | 14.7 | 14.3 | .453 | .458 | 2.0% | 3.9% | 5.9% | -2.3% | -5.7% |
| Chris Young’s forearm injury has sent him to the DL. This clearly necessitates a trade call to the Red Sox, as KC’s Chris Young shortage must be addressed immediately. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 20 | 15 | 14.3 | 14.2 | 14.5 | .438 | .433 | 0.9% | 5.7% | 6.6% | 0.7% | 1.3% |
| The Phillies have a team on-base percentage of .280. The crazy part is, most of the guys who helped compile that number aren’t pitchers. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 16 | 20 | 15.6 | 13.0 | 13.8 | .437 | .432 | 2.3% | 2.3% | 4.6% | 0.5% | 0.4% |
| The Padres pitching staff has penned a screenplay titled, No Flags For The Fathers. It’s in pre-production. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 14 | 21 | 12.5 | 12.2 | 12.8 | .419 | .424 | 2.0% | 1.8% | 3.8% | -0.3% | -6.4% |
| In their three-game series with the Red Sox, the A’s allowed 40 runs. What I’m saying is the State of California should think twice before giving them control of the state’s prisons. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 13 | 21 | 13.8 | 11.8 | 11.8 | .416 | .421 | 0.7% | 0.9% | 1.6% | -0.3% | -7.4% |
| The Angels lost two starters and a shortstop in one day. So, important lesson: kids, remember, never leave 1,000 rakes with tines up lying around for no reason. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 14 | 21 | 13.8 | 11.8 | 11.2 | .416 | .411 | 0.0% | 1.7% | 1.8% | -0.4% | -0.5% |
| The Brewers’ leader in All-Star votes is a tie between Bob Uecker, and I.P. Daly. | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 8 | 25 | 10.0 | 10.5 | 10.5 | .391 | .396 | 0.1% | 0.4% | 0.5% | -0.1% | -2.0% |
| Byron Buxton is tearing it up in Triple-A so maybe next time bring his stats up and leave him down. | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 14 | 20 | 11.9 | 9.5 | 10.5 | .392 | .387 | 0.0% | 1.1% | 1.2% | 0.3% | -0.8% |
| The Reds 2016 video is going to be called “In play, run(s).” | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 8 | 25 | 9.7 | 9.1 | 10.9 | .351 | .346 | 0.0% | 0.1% | 0.1% | 0.1% | 0.0% |
| The Braves new stadium will be made entirely of tears. And steel because tears aren’t very strong. | |||||||||||||
A Hit List for Rich Hill day, or, if you prefer, Real Chill day.